Grief

Grief is an individual feeling and each individual will have a way of dealing with the pain losing someone brings. I would love to share my story with you and share with you ways that I have found useful in staying afloat.

I was 22 years old when I experienced my first loss, I thought my world had stopped for a while. I couldn't believe that this would happen to someone I knew and cared about. My loved one was my closest and longest friend of 12 years. We were family friends and school buddies. We went to school together and college together. The bond we shared is indescribable. Unfortunately, she was diagnosed with a severe illness a few years before this. My world changed, I feel like I'm a different person now. The sense of self, the feeling of mortality and the emptiness of losing a friend. You could call me ignorant or naive but before this I had never faced the reality of life and death. I feel I could have gone two ways and I’ve chosen to go down the path of spirituality and explore my mind and body to find peace from within.

Ways that I dealt with this pain:

#1 Emotions

You're emotions are confusing. You feel heartbroken, angry, sad, guilty. None of these are wrong but all must be felt. Anger is a common emotion that people feel when losing a loved one. You might feel angry at the situation or the person for leaving you. All of these emotions are overwhelming but I can't stress enough the importance of letting yourself feel them. Take some time for yourself and just let it all out. Built up emotions will come out in ways you wouldn't want. Feel the pain for a while and let yourself indulge in that painful part of your heart.

#2 Family

Surrounding yourself with people that truly love you and want the best for you has helped me a great deal. It is normal for you to want to spend each minute alone in your bedroom in the dark. And believe me I did that too. But you need to get out and spend time with people that understand your pain and want to be there for you.

#3 Forgiveness

This one is for me but maybe some of you too. I remembered all the silly arguments we had and all the things I might have ever said and beat myself up about it. I hated that I didn't know the seriousness of the illness, I thought we were too young to suffer from anything life-threatening. I was naive and I have to forgive myself for that. If you feel angry at the way you left things or not getting that chance to meet them one last time, it is okay. Forgive yourself because I'm sure they have.

#4 Memories

The memories are the most important part of any relationship. It is all you have to show for the long journey you had with that person. Cherish them, at first they might be painful to think about but those will turn to happy links to the person before you know it. Appreciate the times you remember and hold it close to you. They live on in our hearts and minds.

#5 Find your peace.

Everyone will have their own escape, find what makes you feel at peace with life. I found meditation and it has helped me rejuvenate my mind and think clearly. This might not be for everyone but find what is for you, you will need to research and read about what works for you. It could be an activity, reading books, meditation or yoga. It could be anything. Find what helps you and don't worry about what people might think. This is for you. Love yourself.

In the end, it is the most painful thing someone can go through, and there is no set rule or way in which you should feel and deal with these emotions. Be kind to yourself and you will get through this tough period in your life.