How to Cope with Death

I know death is a hard subject for anyone, especially if you were in love with them. I lost someone I loved the beginning of 2017. He died just three weeks after his twenty second birthday. Things weren't going well between us. We fought about the little things, got mad over nothing and I tried my best to help, but I think at the time we both had a lot going on in our lives and we didn't know how to handle all of it. Its been incredibly hard to cope, especially when I found out. I cried for days, I wasn't eating for weeks, broke down at work, and I felt there was nothing that anyone could do for me.

What helped me was giving myself some space from others for a little bit, but not all the time, because I got thoughts of suicide if I was left alone for too long and I was scared of doing just that. For a while, I blamed myself for not seeing signs, but after talking with his family and friends, I was reassured all the time that it wasn't. I kept myself busy, and read books to escape reality. The key is to try and keep busy for most of the day then if you want to go through some of their things to remember them it helps as well. The most important is going to a therapist or doctor. For some people it may seem like a joke, but believe it or not it helps. If you can afford it I would definitely recommend seeing them for best results.

Just two years prior I had lost my grandfather to natural causes. I found out through Facebook, called my work to let them know what was going on, and started driving two an a half hours to Richmond, VA. It wasn't until I was ten mins away from my grandparent's house that I got a call from my grandmother telling me what happened. The whole family was supposed to be coming to the house including my dad so we could morn together and figure everything out about the funeral. I went to pick up my dad from the airport, brought him flowers, and some of his favorite snacks. I was new to death then and didn't know how to react; all I knew was that I was going to try my best to be strong for everyone. I went to the open casket and cried with my family a while then we went back to the house. I was leaving that day and there was a tornado watch in the area so it was pouring rain outside. My dad and I ended up getting into a heated argument about my mom's side of the family and then was blamed for my grandfather's death for not living there. I was devastated. I had never been accused of death until that day so I left while it was storming outside and ended up spinning in the middle of the interstate from the weather conditions. I was only thirty mins away from my house at the time and my month old car was totaled. I escaped with only a second degree burn and when I called my dad he said nothing about it, but instead fought with me some more and didn't call me back for three months. During that time it was extremely hard. I was being blamed, got into a car accident, and tried to figure out how I was going to do things.

I found that again keeping myself busy with friends and those who cared about me helped so much throughout the process. I was very fortunate to be able to get another car just being 18.

• Keep yourself busy
• Find support through family or friends
• Talk to your doctor or therapist
• Don't leave yourself alone
• Read books, play games, draw, paint, anything to escape what you're going through for a while