I'm an Introvert. Get Over It.

I have anxiety. It's nothing too severe, I'm one of the lucky ones if you consider anyone with anxiety lucky. I'm able to live out my day without many issues and roadblocks, and half the time most people don't even know there's anything wrong with me or that I'm struggling. It's the way I prefer it.

Anxiety is one of those words that everyone thinks they know, they think they understand it, and they already had different ideas on how people should 'act' if they have anxiety. Those who suffer from it know the truth.

The simple truth is, it differs.

For me, I second guess myself multiple times every day, where I'm going, the conversions I had, the things I say and things I don't say stick with me all day. It's what anxiety does and its something I've learned to live with.

Just like being an introvert. Typically if you have anxiety, you also are an introvert on some level. You need your 101 time. Its not just about not liking people or being annoyed by them, you NEED it.

Being an introvert means that being too social drains you, mentally, physically, and emotionally. It means being on the verge of pulling your hair out, clawing out your eyes, snapping on everyone and anyone for no reason than they annoyed you. You are constantly being drained slowly.

It doesn't mean a dislike for people, there are plenty of people I like that I have to cancel plans on, or I tend to shy away from too much spent time together. Even people who I am close to, like my best friend or even my own sibling. It's not a bad thing, it's for my mental health and my overall well-being.

Maybe I miss out on some things, or I don't get to share in on the inside joke or laugh about the movie everyone saw last night when I flaked. Yes, I do miss that sometimes and feel left out but at the end of the day, I know I don't need all that stuff.

What I need is to put my mental health first.

What I don't need, is the guilt that comes with it.

The name calling because I cancelled two weekends in a row.

The guilt trips because its been so long and I promised.

The bullying because "I don't like people."

What I need is some compassion, some understanding, and above all else, I need space. I'm an introvert, I won't apologize for something I can't control, and I won't apologize for something I do for my health.

No one should, which is the reason I'm writing this. I know I'm not the only one out there with anxiety, and I certainly know I'm not the only introvert out there as well. Just like I know I'm not the only one who has people in their life who just doesn't get it.

So I guess this is an open letter to those don't understand and for those who do because they experience it themselves.

Embrace it; embrace the fact that you aren't a people person and prefer one on one time, that you like your own company. Embrace your introvert side and it'll make the moments you have with friends so much more special and you treasure it closer to your heart.

For those who don't understand, you aren't meant to understand it. Even introverts or people with anxiety don't understand it either. It's one of those things in life that just is, even if you work on it it will still be there. So accept it, have some patience even if you get frustrated and feel hurt. Just know we don't mean to hurt you or your feelings, we just have more going on then most.

As for anyone, patience and understanding is what is truly needed, as well as support and love.