My Depression Struggle

Have you ever heard the saying that if you repeat something a hundred times, it starts to lose i's meaning? I feel like depression has become one of those things that the world looks at and rolls its eyes, scoffing in annoyance. There's a lot of stigma revolving around the term, especially considering the amount of out-of-context usage (like OCD) and the fact that most people don't realize the grand spectrum the disorder is actually located on. Here are some quick tips:

1. Depression doesn't usually party alone.

One of the biggest things that have people whirring in confusion is the fact that depressed people don't always "look or behave like they're sad." Depression comes in all shapes and sizes, and it usually comes with multiple diagnoses, such as PTSD, anxiety disorders, and other mood disorders. Depression may be coupled with manic episodes or take the form of a constant overpopulation of energy. Just because someone doesn't seem sad doesn't mean they aren't being ripped to shreds on the inside, especially since it's basic human nature to behave as if everything is okay even when it's not.

2. Depression can be without clear reason.

Another thing that people can't seem to wrap their head around is that having depression is usually caused by some sort of chemical or hormonal issue. It's not always birthed out of a trauma, and it can flicker or start/stop on a dime. Depression can be seasonal or depend on the time of day. Don't expect someone who is going through a depression to have a distinct reason for feeling they way they are, and especially don't tell them to "just get over it already." If they can't pinpoint a reason for what they are feeling, try having them just talk though the feeling itself; sometimes that can be helpful. Have patience.

3. Feeling depressed and having depression are technically two different things.

Okay, stay with me on this one. The actual feeling of being depressed is more of a shorthand key to melancholy and feeling in the dumps (to put in a really simple light). The actual diagnosis of having a depressive disorder is something entirely different. The main difference is in the word "disorder." Having a depressive disorder means that it literally takes ahold of your life and chokes the hell out of it. It's not just a rain cloud that follows for a bit or that feeling you get when you realize you're a senior in high school and have no idea what you want to do with your life (that was definitely me at one point). Depressive disorders mean that depression has taken root enough that it interferes with your ability to function. You can be depressed without actually having depression, if that makes any sense. If it's crippling you or making it hard to live out day-to-day life, you might want to think about talking to someone like a councilor or therapist.

4. We've heard all the cliches, so please just let it go.

You'll hear a million times:

• "You're not alone, you know."
• "I know how you feel, man. I went through..."
• "Have you tried doing something you enjoy? Or not thinking about it? Or listening to happy music? Or______"
• "Maybe you should get a hobby/job/go to school/etc."
• "Why do you sleep so much/ stay up so late?"
• "But you don't look sad to me."

If I had a nickle for every time I've had someone say these things to me, I'd probably be able to afford a seaside home and live out my days in peace. Remember that having depression is like being sick in the sense that a) it sucks, b) we don't always want to talk about it, c) there are ways to treat and manage it, and d) we don't want everyone's life story if we do decide to confide in someone about it. If someone asks for your advice on the subject, have at it. Otherwise, you're probably not helping the person but rather just making them want to kick a hole in a wall.

All that being said, remember that humans are human. Be supportive, don't assume, and give respect. I hope everyone has a wonderful day.