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Things That Helped Me Overcome Insecurity and Anxiety

From a Teen Girl

By Belle DenkaPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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1. Own it before anyone else can point it out. Make joke about your hairy arms, nose, or calling a lot to make sure everything is okay. We are beautifully flawed but there is no problem with that. There is nothing wrong with having bump in your nose. If you do, own every bit of that bump or weird birthmark or wide feet. Your "flaws" (and I use the word "flaws" very loosely) is what makes you you. No one can be you or your flaws. Owning it doesn't just help you but others with the same insecurity.

2. Acknowledge that others have insecurities and sometimes the same exact one. When we see someone else's insecurity we realize just how ridiculous and unnecessary they actually are. For example, I have almost always been self-conscious about my teeth and trained myself to always smile with my mouth closed. They are a bit crooked and fail the tissue test miserably. A friend of mine told me that she had the same insecurity. I was dumbfounded. She had the most beautiful smile. Her whole face lit up. She was radiant. How could she be embarrassed? Then I remembered my own embarrassment of my own smile. I remembered that people had told me I had a beautiful smile, just like I told her. I could see the parallels in our situations and insecurities. How could I tell her to love her smile when I didn't love mine? And in that realization, I could fight my insecurity.

3. Do not compare yourself to other people. You can't look at someone completely different from you and then want to be them. You can't be them and they can't be you. I was comparing myself to a yogi. She was so beautiful and was in incredible shape. But even though she is athletic and tough, I feminine and creative. I would rather write or work on my projects than go for a run. That's who I am.

4. Write them down. I know it can seem daunting to immortalize our most intrusive and antagonizing thoughts about ourselves, but for some odd reason, it works like a charm. I like to think that putting it on paper and making it simply ink on paper and not monstrous possibilities in my mind. Now they are just harmless words out of my head and in a private journal I would write, "You don't know what you're doing," and,"You don't meet you're goals because you're lazy." This is usually followed by, "If you aren't perfect, everything will fall apart and it will be all your fault," and, "Who do you think you are?" and,"you are a failure." Believe it or not the very act of me typing that out has made me breathe easier.

5. Tell someone. If it is getting to the point that it is preventing you from doing or achieving goals, consult someone you can trust. It's vital to look for some kind of help. Vocalize your struggle. Others are probably struggling too, and you will help each other. If you have too, talk to a counselor. There is no shame in it.

6. This is very important to nip constant anxiety and insecurity in the butt. We need to rip it up by its roots. Why are you insecure about our nose or hairy arms or teeth? Did someone pick on you or laugh at you? Was it a parent, friend, or role model? These are all very important questions to getting to the root experience of the fear. Once I realized why I am anxious about things, it gets easier to understand and undermine this fear.

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About the Creator

Belle Denka

A girl with too much to say but too stubborn not to say it.

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