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When Life Gives You Lemons

Inside the Mind of Depression

By Chloe JadePublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Chapter 1

Nothing you will read in these next few minutes is going to affect you. The pen might have been mightier than the sword in 1066, but not now. We're complex, and odd by nature, and not one thing someone finds useful helps everyone. But a few words in this short post may stir a feeling inside yourself, compelling you to make changes. Society as a place is dynamic, unique, and ever-changing. As humans we are a mere freckle that only just dips into the surface of everything, we are an insignificant freak of nature, an evolved species that developed a sentience: only a few people in the world know this. Most of you walk through life with your eyes closed, while others open, and those people see it all. Even fewer are bang on in between, some scientists, philosophers, have an even balance of the two. It's not bad seeing what’s only on the surface; go below that and a lot of ugly things persist down there. If it fulfills you to live that way, then enjoy it. We all expire at some point, we all have a shelf life, so do what you love. The only problem with that is that a lot of people can’t digest that state of mind. And these people all share a state of mind. That thing is depression.

Beyond the Surface

The factors that circle depression are different for each person it affects. In a strange way, it’s a fast spreading disease, one that you don’t notice there at first until it holds you firmly in its grasp. Some people develop it through bereavement, anxiety, lack of self-confidence, sometimes just transitioning into a teenager. I’m not an expert, I’m 16. But I live with it. The only cure for it is happiness. But how do you get that if you're depressed? I take fluoxetine, a type of anti-depressant, to help balance out all the negative chemicals. What they do is mellow you out. Early into depression, I wasn't taking these. For a while, I was drinking alcohol. I drank daily, in secret; it wasn't worth it. Any form of drug is only temporary, even the tablets. The point of those tablets is to help you progress into an acceptance of state—you have to realise that whatever you do to help you cope isn't going to do anything. One of the only ways you can escape from it is contentment.

Boundaries

Lighthouse

You have to get to know yourself, to be brave enough to look at all the painful things you don’t like to think about. Take a road trip, day trip, get out of your current situation and actually breathe. I went on an expedition to Africa and it gave me a lot of time to think. I know why I’m depressed, and I understand how it happened. That’s the first step. The second is to find something you love. It could be something really silly—the point is, it can be anything. Push yourself to try new things so you can find your rock. The third step is finding someone to lean on; someone who won’t judge any side of you. If you currently don’t have that, then seek it. Get a dog, get a hamster, find some sort of companion. The fourth step is commit. That can be anything, but pick something to be here for.

A Tip

Happy Place

The only way to truly escape is to remove yourself from the isolation depression gives you. Find shared suffering within others. One thing I found useful was reading books like: Jandy Nelson’s The Sky is Everywhere, and I’ll Give You the Sun, Patrick Ness’s A Monster Calls, and John Green's Looking for Alaska.

Before I finish, I want any reader to know you're not alone. Stick around—it’ll be worth it at the end.

The labyrinth is dark and cold, but if there’s a way in, then there's a way out.

depression
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About the Creator

Chloe Jade

Just beautifully tragic

snap: clowoe insta: clowoe_

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