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A Day in the Life of Recovery

How I handle my day-to-day life, after my treatment.

By Catherine ButlerPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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heck yeah I took this I’m so proud lowkey 

It’s been a little over a year since I was in rehab for my eating disorder. About five months since I was in my most recent trip to the mental hospital.

This morning I woke up to a very loving text from my boyfriend. I’m drinking a good cup of coffee and lying in a comfy bed. I’m spending some time with my aunt and uncle in Wisconsin for a few days. Overall, I have a fairly good life.

But I’m still struggling.

I think people hear the word “recovery” and a lot of times think it means you’re all better, but it’s more that you’re still recovering. It would be naive of me to believe that life would be all better just because I’m out of the treatment facility.

Sometimes (eh, often) it can be a lot worse.

When stresses come your way, you don’t suddenly have a staff of people there to help. Sometimes your friends are busy, sometimes they don’t know what to do, sometimes you’re completely on your own.

And the truth is, is that you have to learn how to do that. Be alone. You have to learn how to help and lean on yourself. Not that you can’t lean on friends, keep doing that too! Reaching out and having a support system is so important. But it’s good to be prepared for if there’s a day when you feel like you don’t have anyone, to have ways to soothe yourself.

Sometimes recovery is relapse. There’s a reason I’ve been in treatment more than once. And that’s okay too. It doesn’t equal failure to walk back through a pair of hospital doors. In fact, it’s so brave. You know how hard the days ahead of you might be, and yet you’re still taking those steps to take care of yourself.

Recovery, is not always beautiful. It’s not always the happy ending of the movie (you know, those ones where they’re standing in the wind and smiling at the world before them, yeah). But it can be. It really can be. But don’t be disappointed if there’s not an inspirational song suddenly playing through the air behind you.

Recovery looks different for everyone. For me, recovery looks like a normal day, usually. Do I still struggle? Immensely. Some days I feel permanently stuck under water, like I haven’t made any progress and that things are always just going to be bad. I had to find my own set of coping skills that work for me and figure out how to stop drowning.

I go to work even when it feels impossible. I enjoy family gatherings even though I’m overwhelmed and anxious. I go to therapy once a week. I take my medication. I try to pick my battles and find the little things to be happy over/about.

It can be very, very hard sometimes. But I have to keep telling myself that it’s worth it.

Because I didn’t give up back when I so wanted to, I wouldn’t have heard the new 1975 song that released today. I wouldn’t have seen John Mulaney live or met my new niece. There are so many things that I would’ve missed out on that I’m so grateful I didn’t.

For me, a day in the life of recovery is holding onto hope. Remembering to be hopeful that there are years of those kind of memories ahead of me. Hope is always out there, even if you give up on it for a while. It’ll always be there, waiting for you to return.

With the bad days, there will always be some kind of good ones, too. Even if they’re hard to see, or few and far between.

Remember that.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite song quotes from a band called Movements: “Without a struggle, there can’t be progress.”

And to be a bit more poppy, a good old (well, this is relatively new) Ariana quote: “The light is coming to bring back all that the darkness stole.”

It will.

recovery
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About the Creator

Catherine Butler

Hello there! I’m an avid reader/writer and while I mainly spend time on songs/poems I have written PLENTY of stories (most fictional) and also run a blog! Hope you like what you read!

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