A Look Inside the Mind of the Abused

You don't see the times she's lying on her bed, hand over her mouth, trying not to make a sound as tears stream down her face.

You don't see the times she's driving down the road alone, thinking about the things that have happened to her in her life, and she has to pull over because the tears are falling too hard.

You don't see the scared teenager who is desperately trying to put on a brave face when all she wants is for someone to pull her into a hug and to tell her it's going to be OK—even when deep down, she doesn't believe it will be.

You don't see how wounded and damaged she is because she pushes everyone away in fear that once she lets them in... They'll just leave her too—just like her parents left her, just like her family left her, just like her so-called friends left her.

You don't know how much her heart yearns for love, and how hard her mind fights her and keeps her from allowing herself to let others love her. After all, her mind reasons, what is there of you worth loving?

You don't see how much she hates herself because every time she looks in the mirror, all she can see is the similarities she shares with the people that abused her.

You don't see how hard it is for her some days to look in the mirror without crying her eyes out. How hard it is for her to find an ounce of love in her soul for the one person she should never have to question loving—herself.

You don't see how she feels—broken, exhausted, unlovable.

You don't see that she is in a constant war with her mind—a mind that tells her awful things about herself. Awful things that she feels because the people that abused her... They are still in her head.

You don't see how she lies in bed at night, eyes glued to the ceiling, wide awake, and praying for sleep.

You don't see the silent tears that roll down her cheeks as she wonders what she did that made her undeserving of her parents' love.

You don't see her when she is up at midnight, sitting on the kitchen floor, rocking her body back and forth, as her sobs and cries of pain echo off the walls and pierce through her soul.

You don't see how hard it is for her to get out of bed in the morning because she just can't seem to justify why she needs to leave the house. It's not like anyone notices or needs her anyway. Right?

You don't hear the self-abusive thoughts that go through her head. How she belittles herself and repeats to herself the things her abusers have told her about herself all of her life.

You don't hear the lie in, "I'm fine. I'm just tired is all."

You don't see how she starves herself because she doesn't feel like she deserves to eat.

You don't see that she blames herself for the things that others have done to her. The things they have manipulated her into believing are her fault. The horrible, heart-wrenching guilt that she feels in the pit of her stomach even though she knows the things that have happened to her aren't her fault.

Please try to understand.

When a person is abused, it changes them. It changes the way they think, the way they act, the way they view the world.

She is trying as hard as she can.

She wants to be OK.

She doesn't want to be a burden on others so she keeps her problems and pain to herself.

If you know someone that's been abused, please don't give up on them. Now is when they need support more than ever.