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A Look into the Life of Someone with Anxiety

Step into my shoes.

By Dalaney MendesPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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I was nineteen going on twenty when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Deep down, my whole life, I had a feeling I had anxiety but no one likes a self diagnoser. I finally took a step out of my comfort zone and asked my mother if she truly trusted her doctor. I asked her if he was good. I told her how I really felt around people, I knew or didn't know, places that were new to me, doing things on my own without someone else's assistance. I despised talking on the phone with anyone, even now. I would get nervous and mess up my words when I spoke. Leaving voicemails was a struggle because my mind would go blank and I wouldn't be able to remember what I was supposed to say. I get nervous when being questions at the doctor because I can never remember my family's medical history. I get anxiety when I get voicemails from people or when I get mail. I fear that it would be something bad.

I'm turning twenty-two in September and I still don't drive. Thanks again to my mental health. As many times as I attempt the permit test, my mind goes blank, my heart races, and I panic. No matter how much I study, it never helps.

My mind makes me think that I'll never be good enough for someone because I don't drive, I back out of plans because I get way too anxious, I never want to leave the house, I always sleep when I get the chance, and I keep to myself most times in private and in public. If I don't know you, I'll be shy and nervous; but give me time and I'll surprise you but it seems nowadays, no one has time to wait for someone's true self to come to light.

If you know someone, or yourself, that suffers from anxiety, love on them. Words don't matter. Words don't always help. Be the ear that will listen to them when they need to release what's stuck inside of them. Listening is better than talking. We want to be heard, we want to be loved.

For me, I don't want to be coddled. I just want people to understand that anxiety is real. "It's all in your head." Uh duh, we know that. We can't control what our mind thinks. No matter how much we try, those thoughts always find a way through.

Anxiety isn't an easy thing to just get over. You don't just get over anxiety. It will always be there but it's how we choose to deal it that makes it easier. We FIGHT every day to push those thoughts out of our heads and just keep going.

Just like with me getting my license. It isn't easy for me like it might be for the average person. I'm not average. The one thing I can take from this problem is that I will actually go when I know that I am ready and confident that I can do it whether I pass or not. But at least I try. And trying is the biggest thing someone with anxiety can do. Don't push yourself out of your comfort zone, take it slow. Take it easy.

Anxiety is a mental illness but it doesn't have to be my life. I’m taking those baby steps to deal with it. I won't just magically get over it. I just take it easy when I get those racing thoughts, that racing heart, or the panic feeling where I feel so overwhelmed and just talking about could make I burst into tears.

Take it easy.

anxiety
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