A Memorable Journey

Through life, we go through many stages. Sometimes decisions we make have important influences on our lives, some good, and some bad. To adapt to these situations that happen in our lives, we must be very optimistic. At the beginning of my adulthood, I have had many obstacles, including addiction, marriage, and parenthood. Through these times, I felt great fear but also great determination. Those feelings resulted in remarkable success and accomplishments.

Problems started around age 16. I was a very ambitious but also rebellious teenager. Through my childhood, I endured many tough and unfortunate events. At a very young age, my biological mother, Gina, abandoned me, due to her drug addiction. It was my dad and I, until my adoptive mother, Linda, came into the picture. She was everything a child could want and need in a mother. She was loving, caring, and wanted the best for me.

I was adopted at age five, and finally had the family I needed as well as wanted. Life was great at the moment, but through all the love and tender thoughts, depression set deeper into my innocent mind. Why didn’t Gina love me? Why did she choose drugs over me? Why was I not important? These thoughts were trapped in my mind. No amount of therapy sessions could fix me. Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness took over me. I longed to wonder why this happened to me, and to this day, I have never been able to understand fully why, to Gina, drugs were more important.

Through the years, contact was completely lost with Gina. She stopped calling and writing. At this point, I was a freshman in high school. I can remember wanting to understand the reasoning for her drug use so badly that I checked out every book on the different drugs I could find in my school’s library. After reading countless books, I still did not understand. If anything, the books made me curious. I wanted to feel what she felt. I wanted to understand why these drugs were chosen over me.

At this point in my life, I was nearly 16-years-old. I became very rebellious. I skipped school, started smoking, and hanging out with the wrong people. Linda was in the military, and very strict. My rebelliousness could only go so far without grave consequences, and drugs were one thing I knew were unacceptable. Even though my curious mind wandered, and my friends were smoking weed and drinking, I was scared to try it. I knew if I did, Linda would drug test me, and I would be in serious trouble.

My mind began to change the day one of my friends brought some new drugs into the picture, which were pain pills. My friends expressed to me that they would make me feel drunk, and only stay in my system a couple of days. I was ecstatic! Finally, something to numb the pain, and that I could get away with, something to make me understand. The day I took that little white pill, my life changed forever. I had no idea that trying something once would unlock an addictive personality trait I carried within me, and I would need to have more. I continued to take these little pills with no worry in the world. I felt wonderful. My pain, my thoughts, they all seemed to cease. I did not realize, while I indulged in this incredible feeling, I was unlocking what is now my addiction.

I continued to use pain pills for the next few years until my addiction grew out of control. The price of my drug habit was now at around four hundred dollars a day. I couldn’t financially afford the number of pills it took for me to function without going into withdrawal. Then something terrible happened. My friend informed me that I was out of my mind to be spending so much on pills when heroin was much cheaper, and so much stronger. The day I tried heroin was the day I found a new love.

My love for heroin grew much stronger, and my addiction spiraled out of control. I stole, cheated, lied, and hustled every day to get the money I needed for my next fix. The life I knew was no longer. I was not me anymore; I became a monster. A couple months into my heroin addiction, I began shooting up. To this day, I have never been able to see the world as I once knew it. One day, something sparked in my mind. I was living in a shack and shooting up water, trying to find the last little particles of dope left in the capsules. I realized that this was not what I wanted in life. I knew I needed to change. I knew I had a purpose in life. Heroin was not my purpose for living.

With many failed attempts at trying to get clean on my own, including many relapses and setbacks, I finally decided to get up enough courage to go to rehab. I absolutely loved it! I was finally with people who were just like me, that knew the struggles of remaining clean from drugs, with no judgement, and more importantly, had faith that we would recover. I continued my sobriety, with minor setbacks, and was day by day finding myself again. I met the man of my dreams and my savior along the way. I knew my life was turning around and things were going to be okay.

On March 27, 2015, we got married. We were so in love, and I was at peace. Nothing in this world could have stopped me. In May 2015, we rejoiced to find out we were going to be parents! Life as I knew it was yet again changing. The months passed, the love grew, and on January 2, 2016, our daughter, Imani Grace, was born. Life couldn’t have been better. Having a baby most definitely changed my life forever. I was determined that I would not be like my junkie of a mom, and to this day, I have succeeded.

Six months later, we were surprised to find out that baby number two was on the way. Our little boy, Kamari James, was born on March 12, 2017. Now I have years clean, a loving family, and my life is everything I have ever wanted and needed. I now remain in contact with Gina, even though she still uses, and mine and Linda’s relationship is stronger than ever. I am a full-time student in college and have decided that I will further my degree in psychology, and I will work with recovering addicts that need help like I did. No matter what life throws at you, change is possible. Day by day, even seconds at a time. You are who you choose to be, no matter what you’ve been through.