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The only tool I have to control anything is my medication. Every skill has to be tied into emotion. The second my emotions escape my control, I manifest my abilities in extreme ways. We all know that in the real world we have to maintain a cover, as well as hide our abilities in general. Using it on some people can outright scare the poor things to death. I worry about having any friends at all because I’m wondering how they will take my abilities. Around other pagans, I feel somewhat safe. Somehow my abilities have been a constant source of paranoia for me.
Medication is one of my only tools to manage my powers. If I am off slightly, I get agitated, stressed, and feel overwhelmed. Then some metal bends. Yes, quirky. Of course, I’m just trying to keep my head above water right now, what with certain things in my life returning to the way they were. I’m just avoiding the house, period. Not only do I need my medication to make sense to anybody, not just you people, I need to be civil. Would you rather I be rude to you, turn mirror-universe evil, or give you unnecessary drama (read s##t)? This is what happens when I’m extroverted and manic, and can’t shut up.
So wise up New Agers, this person needs medication to be functional at all. Only four people I know in my community understand that. Insulin is also necessary for me to stay alive. I have had to deal with ignorant anti-insulin jerks too. Wow, what do I expect? Yes, I’m a fast healer for a type 1 diabetic who has no complications. Oh and I’m lactose intolerant as well, does that mean I have to hear you say things about lactose supplement as well?
So if you want me to be remotely civil to you, know that I need to take my medication despite my talents you hold in awe of. And please, that annoys me. Yes, I have many skills, but seriously? I’m a frail human with feelings. So please, tread gentle. I’m also dealing with C-PTSD which I have few resources for because not enough work exists about this subject. C-PTSD is complex, long-term trauma where you just couldn’t get away. It is similar to PTSD, except for the can’t-escape-the-situation part. PTSD eventually can be treated, C-PTSD is simply more work to treat, and harder too. Seriously, you do not want somebody with my skill set running around manic all the time while manipulating people to do whatever you want. This is dangerous, not to mention bad karma. Do you get that now? This stigma is why I write articles like these. I need to get it across to you people that I have a disability or two I need to cope with. Yes, people, a disability. Insulin keeps me alive.
Think about that. There is a myth going around that I can resurrect old pancreatic cells. Impossible. I can’t. Don’t expect so much from me. Yes, I’m talented, oh gush about that. Gush all you want, I put that gushing on ignore. Flattery doesn’t work well with me. Find somebody else to flatter. Flatterers only piss me off since I prefer constructive criticism to compliments although I suppose I could use a way to learn compliments. I’m highly stressed right now due to unusual circumstances such as my family coming back. But the good news is that everything is under control. See why a person with my skill set that defies imagination, needs to take her meds? Stress.