Psyche is powered by Vocal creators. You support Emily Buehner by reading, sharing and tipping stories... more

Psyche is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.

How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.

How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.

To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.

Show less


The Ultimate Light Over All Evil thoughts

Sometimes when we are going through a rough patch, we don't know what it is to feel, we feel numb inside and sometimes the feeling never seems to leave the body. The pain screams in the pit of our stomach, the thoughts run all over the body making it feel colder. What will happen if we stop feeling?

When it rains we feel like it pours, when we cry we feel like the tears are unstoppable, when we feel cold we tell ourselves we are freezing. When we feel numb inside we turn the lights off where we feel comfortable, where there is nothing to see but an overwhelming sense of emotions. 

We tell ourselves that it's okay, we tell ourselves we will be able to fight this storm in the darkness, but we look for a sign telling us that it's okay to not be okay. We think we have concurred the battle and have moved on, we will always have problems we have to face in life.

The feelings may subside for a short time but then they come back to remind us that we are human. We can be happy alone and we can be sad alone, the choice is ours. We use our words as weapons when we are losing the sense of hope. We talk down to ourselves and others, we say negative things and isolate ourselves from the outside world. We think nobody cares.

We don't understand why we feel this way so it's time to find out who we are so we can understand why life is the way it is, why we feel the way we feel. We tend to love in the worst way, so consumed in the feeling, that it's false hope. It takes time to heal they say, so we are seeing what this distance is for. 

Everybody needs closure from one thing or another in their life time, it's a given. We need some closure so we can start over, to forget, to move on. We then need to accept that we don't feel our best selves and that it's not a lifetime feeling, it will take hard work, time, and patience and a true understanding of life. We lose ourselves in the darkest of nights when all we are trying to do is find the light.

The agonizing unending pain of sadness is taken over your body and it's like we are living in hell but something inside you tells you to keep going. Our feelings can't be replaced only felt with the rawest emotions there is to feel, then we can find something to guide you.

Something makes you wanna try harder, a little voice in your head, we wish we could tell people how to live their lives but they must take time to figure that out on their own. We take our chances and wait for the unexpected. What goes around comes around and now we feel emptier than ever.

Never hold back inside what you are feeling, let someone know, listen to the voice that tells you to never give up. In life we will have our doubts but that doesn't mean we are lost beings, we need to be fearless warriors,  We fear abandonment but are still capable of facing  our own  independence, how do we always seem to manage? There may be scars along the bumpy road but that only makes us grow stronger on our journey. Remembering that every scar is a work of art, forming our lives making it what it is. We may be disappointed with the decisions now but in the end we will be thankful.

We lose ourselves on our path of healing and recovery of who we are and forget what we came to do. When we worry that only makes things worse, it is OK to worry sometimes, but we need to allow ourselves to let go of things we can not control, the only thing we need to worry about is ourselves. We fight so hard we have bags under out eyes from the lack of sleep and the constant worry in our heads, we have tears running down our face from the thought of an unending battle that seems to be endless, we feel weak and tired dragging ourselves day after day and we say there is no more. But then we wipe the tears and let the voice inside our head guide us back.

We are tired of pulling the forces of wanting to give up and trying harder to not give up apart, we can feel the strength in our bones getting weaker and let the one side win. The space between us is dead because there is no more space, only the strength to keep pushing forward. When we find ourselves in a hopeless place we need to be reminded that this won't last forever. We almost feel ashamed that we want to give up and quit trying, but we need to remember who we are and what we are doing this for.  

We keep on trying because we know there are people out there who want to see us succeed and be successful, we don't want to let them down, and knowing it is important that we never leave them. Someone could be that important that we leave them to better ourselves so they can find peace within themselves knowing we are happier now. 

We believed that we would never see a light at the end of the tunnel, we told ourselves that it would be impossible and there was no point in trying. We fought our way through the darkness with scratches, burns, bruises and tears shed all down our faces but now we no longer feel alone. 

When we feel like giving up and there is no light and nobody cares and we don't want to be around anyone and isolate ourselves from the world, we need to remember there is a war to be fought and won. We can overcome depression, can can live with mental illness, we can allow ourselves to live a happy life and be a light for others who feel the same way we felt and are struggling to see the light in their own lives. We need to feed that hunger inside us to find our happiness, which we can also spread to others, let us unite as one and spread the light throughout.

Now Reading
Read Next
I Had No Idea