Addiction, and the Paramedic

Addiction is taking its toll. There have been so many overdoses in my district, that not only are we short on Narcan some days, we are also short on responders. I am not one to judge. As a paramedic, I see people at their worst moments in many different situations. I am putting in my two cents today, because I feel not only addicts are suffering, but families, responders, etc. I have to elaborate on my own experiences as a result of addictions of others. This is in no way meant to be judgmental, or to condemn, I am hoping my catharsis can help someone.

I have been in EMS for 30 plus years. In all of those years, I have dealt with a handful of overdoses, mostly due to prescription medications, until recently. In the past 5 years, I have lost count of the number of calls I have responded to with the outcome of Narcan being given, sometimes successfully, others not a thing we can do. Yes, we get bulletins from our state department of health on what we are looking at, continuing education for ongoing ways to help overdose victims, and ongoing ways to help ourselves understand it all. Recently, the argument has been all about weather it is a disease, or not. I find myself increasingly frustrated with some of the so-called professionals I work with and around. My view is,"Who cares if it is a choice, or a disease? People are dying, and that's the part I am not ok with."

I find myself daily, increasingly frustrated with my job. I love being a paramedic, took an oath, and give 150% of myself to every patient, on every call. Lately, even on social media, I am seeing increasing numbers of EMT's, Paramedics, nurses, doctors, etc., pass it off as, "They chose to put that needle in their arm/swallow that pill/snort that stuff. Why is it my problem?" I am sick to death of hearing this. I get into arguments every day with co-workers, reminding them that although they are sick of going for the third time this week to the same address, yes it is frustrating, because we don't know what tomorrow will bring, every person is still someone's child, mom, dad, sister, brother, etc. When a medic, or EMT decides that one life is worth saving, while one is not, it is time to get out of EMS. NO ONE should decide that some one is "a useless junkie" and decide not to do what they took an oath to do. I am disgusted by the statements of some that they "take a little longer to get there" or take a little longer to get the Narcan in." My opinion is that this is not only negligence, but borders on manslaughter.

The argument that addiction is not a disease is a hot topic, with everyone saying that it is simply a choice. I counter argue, what about those who's doctors kept feeding them pills after an injury? How about those who suffered a mental break due to some circumstance that you don't know anything about? My view is, if a diabetic chooses to eat cupcakes all day, they have done it to themselves, but we still treat them. When an overweight person with a sedentary lifestyle eats hamburger and high fat foods, and ultimately suffers a heart attack, we still treat them. An alcoholic who suffers seizures and falls is still treated. These were ALL life choices, and are recognized as a disease. Addiction in any form in my eyes is a disease, because it changes your body and brain chemistry. One choice to do something has cumulative effects, classifying it as a disease. Drug addiction is no different, as it also changes your natural homeostasis of your body, causing multiple other issues.

I will say I do get saddened in many situations. I wake up a heroin overdose whom I have been breathing for for 10 minutes until the Narcan kicks in, and try to humanize each and every person. Just as I wake up the diabetic with a low blood sugar, because their choices caused a hypoglycemic episode, I will wake up an overdose victim, and still treat them with dignity and respect, because, ultimately, SOMETHING has caused this incident. I have talked during our rides to the hospital after a successful Narcan resuscitation, to the addict. I offer them my sympathy, treat the resulting withdrawal symptoms, warm them, talk to them, hold their hand, and beg them to get the help they need. Most respond favorably, because, even more sadly, they usually experience someone who is impatient with them, judging them, and treating them like they are garbage. Love and compassion may not be the cure for addiction, but it sure does help a suffering addict to open up about why they are doing what they are doing, and helps to get them steered in the right direction for getting the help they need.

I am one lowly paramedic in a cold world, with so much hate, distance, lack of empathy for others, and downright, evil. I do not know all the answers, but I continually train, try, and help as I am needed. I continually try to learn, participate in, and attend to studies, assistance programs, and the like, to refer a suffering addict to the right location. It is never an easy answer, and it takes its toll, when you see a suffering addict day after day, struggle to find help. I always remind myself why I got into doing the job that I do, and weather it be an addict, a car crash victim, a heart attack, etc., each patient will always be given everything I have. All lives are worth it, worth my time, worth the effort, to save. Someone somewhere loves you. We want you to see tomorrow. I can't understand the depths of what you feel and why you continue to do the things you do, but I am trying, so that I may better help you. I am currently dealing with my son, who is an addict, several times relapsed, and still feeling the pain from the loss of my nephew, whom I raised from birth, to heroin.

This culture has to change, and we as responders, need a better understanding of addiction, overdose, and how to help a suffering addict. Most just see it as a choice that someone keeps making, but have not been educated. Most of my fellow responders have their own vices, like smoking, drinking, are overweight, and have other issues, and it irritates me that they judge others. Many do not have addiction to the degree of others, but it is still a life choice and an addiction. It plays over and over in my head, especially when I see a baby crib in a room next to the lifeless body of a young mother or father that I could not save. How senseless this loss of life, and wondering why they did not seek help. Through dealing with my own family, I have seen the reasons why. Fear of judgement, ill treatment, someone who is heartless who degrades you for choices you made. I want to know how to help.

I have been talking with many addicts, volunteering at a local rehab, training others in Narcan use, assisting social workers in resource management and direction. I want to know what it is that is REALLY needed by addicts. What does an addict think will help them, not what some college professor or doctor at the state level who has never been through the addiction thinks will help, but what an addict thinks they need. The best way to fix something, is to find someone who has been through it and knows what the problem is, and what helps, and what does not.

Regardless, I will be here for as long as I can, still responding, still praying, still keeping a glimmer of hope alive for every patient I respond to, and hoping at least that I have made a difference. Someday, every silent tear that streaks down my face when I have to say "I am so sorry" to another mother or father, will not be in vain. Please, just tell me what to do, and say a prayer for your responders, because there are still some of us out there who feel your pain, and loss, as much as you and yours do.