Advice on Dating Someone with Anxiety
Love always finds a way.
When you date someone with anxiety, I recommend finding out their triggers and try to figure out what caused the anxiety in the first place. My fiance has terrible anxiety. His last partner left him with horrible scars and trust issues. He used to ask me if I would want to stay with him and how much I loved him. I know that he doesn't ask me validation questions because he wants to, but rather because he needs to. His last partner was abusive and hurtful to him on a painful emotional level. I doubt he will ever truly get over the anxiety his ex left on him.
This leads me to my next point. People with anxiety need a constant. A constant is something that they will always have in their life. No matter how horrible something goes, a person with anxiety will go back to it. I think this is why people with anxiety tend to vape or smoke. Smoking is their constant that is there when they need to be comforted. My advice here to you is to be that constant for your partner. At times it will be rough. It's easy to feel like they should be your constant, and sometimes they will be.
You have to be patient with your partner. They didn't choose to be anxious. They didn't choose whatever caused it to happen to them. I know my fiance didn't ask to be verbally attacked on a daily basis by his ex. I know he can't help feeling that he isn't good enough for me or that I may leave. I chose to counteract these negative feelings by letting him open up to me.
People have feelings. I let my partner open up to me in his own time. I chose to take everything at his pace, and let him get comfortable with me. He is my best friend, not an emotionless robot. If you are dating a person with anxiety, let them open up to you. If you push them, you're only going to make their anxiety worse. My fiance, Declan, loves me. I know he does. I love him too. I let him cry on my shoulder. I stroke his hair and listen to him. When he opens up, it tends to let out some of his anxiety.
My last piece of advice to get to know your partner. Find out what they like and don't like. For example, I know that I can't tell Declan about my celebrity crushes because he gets anxious that he doesn't look good enough for me. I have to keep his self-esteem up. For Declan, I know he likes it when I tell him what I like about him. Who doesn't? So, I'd recommend making your partner a list of what you do like about them and sharing it with them sometime.
Loving a partner with anxiety can be tough. Sometimes you will feel neglected, but remember your love for your partner. Always remember that they appreciate you and love you too. You are their rock and if you really love them, they will know after time. And to recap, I've put a list of my main points below. I hope this helps. Thanks for reading!
Recap list:
- Anxiety is usually caused by a trigger. Find that trigger and fight it.
- Let your partner know that you are there for them. (Be their constant.)
- Patience is key. Eventually they'll open up to you about what's bugging them.
- Let your partner open up to you. Don't push them! They'll come out when they're ready.
- Give them some love! Find a way to compliment them on their awesomeness—whatever makes them awesome to you!
About the Creator
S. D. Kelley
Hello! My name is S. D. Kelley, but you can probably see that! I graduated with a Bachelor's in Special Education. I also have a love for writing that I hope to show off here! Glad to meet you!
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