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Alcohol promises fake stability for us mentally ill alcoholics. You see, it calms you down well-enough, but medication does a far better job of that. Alcohol leads to fraudulent stability since drinking counts as self-medication because mentally ill people are in a lot of pain either way. Alcohol really doesn’t help, especially if you treat the drinker well while they are drinking. Alcohol sometimes makes people curious as to what it would do to your body in large quantities—that’s why I stayed alcoholic for so long, because I was in general, curious. In college, I was drinking to fit in.
Sometimes people actually encouraged my drinking habits. When you dump alcoholic people, you have to look for a new set of friends. Extreme stress can trigger me into starting to drink again. Using alcohol provides temporary relief from stress but it can lead to more health problems, as well as cause damage to personal relationships. As I learned when I finally hit rock bottom, people pointed out how alcohol didn’t help me much and medication helped me so much more. In 2010, I gave up on drinking, since in 2007 I learned that alcohol had negative effects on me. I spent 2007, 2008, and 2009 trying to get stable. Stability didn’t happen until 2012.
Yes, some people sabotage my wellness. I’m not going to Thanksgiving if my family is going to push me into relapsing. Like hell—am I going to relapse because I refuse to allow anybody’s idiocy to push me into drinking again? Me stepping up and quitting just frightened my family to death, didn’t it? I know I have a problem, unlike some people. This is why I refuse to go to Thanksgiving. I know some people in my family don’t like the fact that I stopped drinking. This is why I need to avoid those people.
My PTSD may well cause me to start drinking again since people with anxiety and mood disorders do this stuff to control their anxiety, their mood, as well as their stress. Doing battle with drugs and alcohol combined is hard work. This is why rehab is an effective means of getting treatment. Mentally ill people use marijuana to self-medicate at times, mimicking effective behavior all the while being unstable. I found myself having contact highs around marijuana users.
I have since decided to stay away from marijuana users. I have pain issues from my stiff knee but that hasn’t driven me to drink again. I do not use opioids to manage that pain though. Some people in my family drink to control their own pain problems, I’m not being specific as to whom but well, some of them self-medicate. At least some of our friends know that they pull this stuff. Sometimes short-term sleep medications are overused. But hey, schizoaffective disorder runs in my family. They are busy self-medicating to get the voices out of their system. Some refuse to take medication.
I’m formally protesting one uncle’s lack of medication by not showing up to family events. As schizoaffective contains symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar, the illness makes some people drink to cope with the feelings.
There are also impulse control disorders in mentally ill people along with personality disorders that provide a person with socially unacceptable behavior. Many lack the awareness of such a disorder affecting their behavior. These disorders are narcissism, borderline personality, antisocial personality, and paranoid personality disorder.
To withdraw from any addiction requires in-patient rehab treatment in a detox program. Something most in my family lack awareness of. I’m boycotting Thanksgiving because some people aren’t treated. I will not witness certain people being mistreated. Period. I’m not going. Deal with that.