An Open Letter to 13-Year-Old Me

Dear Sierra,

It’s almost 2019 now.

Can you believe you made it this far? You thought you’d be dead by now.

You thought you wouldn’t make it to the age of 18, so on your 18th birthday you cried, they were happy tears of course.

You graduated as well. The day you left school for the last time you called up mom and sobbed to her, telling her that you couldn’t believe it actually happened. You were actually out of the hell hole that was keeping you down.

You work a full-time job now. Plus you're also getting ready for your third semester in college. You put in a lot of hard work daily. But it is definitely all good because the grind makes you happy. You feel like your contributing constantly, it’s such a good feeling really. Just wait, because your going to love it. (Also you get up at 4 AM everyday, you end up liking it more than you would think to be honest.)

You have a best friend now as well, she’s one of the most important people in your life. You tell her everything, and she listens to you. You finally have someone you can open up too without being shut down for your thoughts. She helps you when your down, she drops everything to come to your rescue when you need her. All the trials with past people in your life are totally worth it in the end, because they all led you to your best friend.

P.S. You two actually get two sets of matching tattoos, but they are quite cute so it’s totally worth it.

You accomplish so many things after you graduate. You help people.

You inspire people.

You write more.

You sing more.

You smile more.

I know you are looking at the world now with such pain, with such anger, such raw emotion. But don’t worry darling, it will all be okay in the end.

I promise.

You will survive the trials God has given you.

You will learn how to push through this.

You will become the best fighter the world has ever seen.

Sometimes, looking back, I do wish that I could have told you that it would be okay. Instead, I was scared, I never told you enough how worth it all this was going to be. Or how amazing some of the things you are going to do are. Or how much you are going to impact peoples lives everyday. You deserved to know those things, but no one told you, you never deserved that.

Although you do so well, there are trying times, where you fear you are falling back into the place that once chained you down. Just keep this one tip in mind when that happens: Bipolar Disorder is no joke. Take care of yourself when you need to. You are your number one priority.

Through learning that you are your number one priority, you learn new ways of healing your past pain.

You finally stand up to your mom about your stepdad. You learn to degrade him for all the things he has done to you. You no longer give him space in you mind or soul, as he never deserved it anyways.

You meditate more, tapping into your empathetic abilities. These abilities help people. You can see when people are upset, so you can give them help. You can understand someone’s pain, so you can help them along through it. Learning how to do this has become one of your biggest strengths.

You learn to love yourself. It took a long time, and you are still learning, but you are getting more and more confident everyday.

You wear things that are out of your comfort zone, because they look cute on you.

You sing more in public, because who cares if someone hears you, your proud of your voice.

You don’t hide anymore, the shadows that once hid you away are gone now.

It’s almost 2019 now.

You’ve come so far, I’m so proud of you.

You’ve learned to conquer those who destroy you.

You’ve discovered ways of being a better, stronger person.

You’ve never been in such a good place before in your life.

But it’s about damn time, because you deserve this.

You deserve to be happy.

You’re 19 now. You still have a lot of life to live. Some of it will be hard, some of it trying. But with rain comes sunshine, now that you have learned to love the rain as well. Life has become a beacon of light on the darkest days.

You have proven yourself over and over again.

Now it’s time to do it some more, it’s time to push your limits. It’s time to create your life, pace your path.

Everything will be okay. It may not seem like it now love, but I pinky swear, it will all be worth it in the end.

Just keep trucking on.

Forever and Always,

Sierra

XOXO