Psyche logo

Anxiety

Living with It

By Bethany LeflerPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
Like

Let's face it: a lot of people have it. Anxiety. I'm having it right now just writing this. The constant fear of the unknown, of being judged, of being disliked. Now, I'm not a medical professional by any means. I've never even been to college (that's a story for a later time). But I know a thing or two about anxiety and what works for me.

I have three young children. My oldest is six years old, bless his heart. And my two girls are still toddlers. If you have anxiety, you know how hard it is to cope while trying to be strong for your kids. I do it on a daily basis.

Messy rooms: anxiety. Sick and throwing up: anxiety. Can't find his socks in the morning: anxiety. Anything can trigger it for me. Even the smallest of problems. The tiniest of hurdles seem like mountains I need to overcome just to get through our daily routine.

My fiance, and all his patience, does what he can to keep me from pouring gas on everything and letting it burn away. Because let's be honest here, sometimes it seems easier to burn it all down around you instead of trying to deal with the source of the problem.

Every day is a struggle. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person on the planet that knows how I feel inside. Sometimes I feel like I'm not a person at all. Those days can get pretty bad. Those are the days that I want to curl up in my closet and pray that when I crawl out, my life won't be the way it was when I crawled in.

Work becomes a place of misery. I find myself just kind of going through the motions. Other times I find myself not going at all and calling in. It's a struggle holding a full-time job when you're constantly fearful that you'll pull into work and your job isn't there anymore. Somebody better comes along. The company is moving in a different direction. Your boss just can't handle your missed days and your lame excuses anymore. But how do you explain to someone that doesn't have anxiety that you're crippled by this invincible force? How do you tell someone that doesn't understand what anxiety is like that you just can't function like normal people do?

And on top of all these anxiety problems, you just can't sleep. You lay awake all night, thinking. Your brain just won't shut down. What if I get up tomorrow and just can't do it?

Then there are the social outings with the few friends you manage to keep around. Oh my god. What if my friends have other friends and they don't like me? What if I'm too quiet for them? Am I going to say something stupid? Will they laugh at me behind my back when I leave? On second thought, I think I'll just stay home.

This is the reality for so many people. Young and old. It's crippling. It suffocates you from the inside. You want so badly to go out and just be *normal*. You have dreams and aspirations. Career goals and plans for the future. But it's always, "Maybe tomorrow will be better for this."

Eventually, you just gotta do it. Stop overthinking it and just *do it*! OK, so maybe it doesn't work out. Maybe you fall flat on your face and get a little bruised up. It's OK. Get back up. And do it again. Just keep getting back up. Because once you stop and lay down, you let it win. The anxiety takes over and it wins. Don't let it win.

For everybody out there that has anxiety, or depression, or is bipolar or whatever: you're strong, and you're beautiful inside and out. Yes, you too men. We are *not* failures. We just take a little more time and some extra love and patience. There is *always* somebody out there who is willing to listen and love you. Chances are, they have anxiety too. We aren't alone in this world and you don't have to feel like you're outcasted because you didn't want to sing karaoke on stage.

Pick yourself up, brush yourself off. Get back on that horse called life and hang on. Eventually, that horse will stop bucking and you'll realize the one thing every person with anxiety forgets: You're in control.

anxiety
Like

About the Creator

Bethany Lefler

Mother to 3 beautiful children; one boy (6yrs) and two girls (3yrs+1yr). Just trying to make it day by day and keep my head afloat in this crazy ride we call Life.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.