Anxiety Epidemic

I read a news headline the other morning as I swiped rapidly through social media on my phone. It's part of my routine; wake up, check for messages, scan the day's headlines, sigh heavily, sit on end of bed for ten minutes and then face the day. This headline told me that we are apparently facing an "anxiety epidemic" in western society. Now, I didn't read the whole article (who has time for that these days), but it resonated with me for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because it made "anxiety" sound like an ominous and deadly disease that was sweeping the nations. Not a great vision. But secondly, because like whenever I see a news story of any kind about "anxiety," "stress," or "mental health struggles," it reminds me that I am not alone.

I began my, let's call it a "journey," with anxiety when I moved to the UK as a teenager to study. It took me three years, three doctors, and a bunch of research to figure out that's what it was. Panic attacks were not even on my radar as something that would ever happen to me before this. At the time of my worst and earliest days experiencing symptoms, I fully believed I was sick with an outrageously uncommon disease. I mean, what normal person can't leave their room because of a racing heart and fear of the unknown? What normal person breaks down in a restaurant because they're suddenly and inexplicably breathless and short of air? Me. I did. And the friends around me were sympathetic but clueless. Phrases like, "Yes, we're all stressed. Exams are coming up! It sucks!" abounded. And of course they were. This does not at all belittle the intense nerves and stress that surround high pressure events. But what I struggled to explain to them was that it wasn't just being a bit worried about my performance at university that consumed me.

Anxiety takes the normal and healthy human response to fearful situations and distorts it in your mind to the point where you believe that any number of situations are frightening and uncertain, sometimes without even consciously realizing it. Going to a new location can trigger it, meeting new people, being in a crowded room, not knowing for sure what time you'll get home. Little daily inconsistencies and uncertainties will drive you (forgive the proverbial and overused term) crazy.

I didn't know ANYONE else going through this. It wasn't until I had moved back home, begun a treatment of antidepressants, received incredible support from family, and started counselling that I began to discover a lot more instances of anxiety in the lives of those around me.

Now I'm not saying that my friends in the U.K. were ignorant or that once I moved home everything was fine. Neither of those things are true. But what is true is that it takes a huge amount of vulnerability to share and explore these feelings with people. So many of us today are doubtful and unconvinced when it comes to the barrage of interior injuries, mental health concerns, and pain that cannot be seen and operated on. I myself was fully convinced that depression was exaggerated and selfish until I had my own waves of it. I thought all people needed was to "suck it up" and "get over it." But I can tell you now, if it was that easy, don't you think a lot more people would be "over it?"

Anxiety can be big and scary and all-consuming. But the size of it can be diminished and its hold can be loosened. My biggest advice if you are struggling with something you think might be along these lines is to talk to someone. Even if they don't understand, even if their empathy is hesitant, this is the first step to finding other avenues and resources for help. And you know what, you talking to them may be their first step in realizing that these are real issues, or even giving them confidence to talk about their own. Don't be ashamed. And don't feel as though you have to suffer in silence because this is "just who I am." Denying yourself help and treatment is not fair. You are not alone, and you are not a freak.