Anxiety... It's a Bummer

Hey! I'm sure everyone's had some anxiety at some point right? What if I were to tell you that I've been anxiety-free for 10 years and in a flash it all came back? Sucks doesn't it? Well this is what's happening to me. I don't have a "once-in-a-while" panic attack. I constantly have fears and irrational thoughts. I have health anxiety A.K.A. hypochondria. Not a day goes by where I don't think about suddenly dying and leaving my family behind. I'm 27 and fairly healthy so I shouldn't worry, and there's also the fact that I've had 3 EKGs and blood tests in the past 4 months. Shouldn't that be enough to tell me that I'm fine, because it isn't. Now, many people tend to put anxiety and depression in the same basket, but that's not my case. I'm truly happy with my life so why the hell am I so terrified? Should I just give in and take the anxiety meds? No, because I know that that isn't the solution that suits me (by the way nothing wrong with taking meds, I just don't think I need them).

When my anxiety started to come back I was pissed off. How could I have been fine for years and now poof! It's back. Well thank God for my family and for their support, but I'm also giving myself a high five because I'm getting better. For me what's helping, is being rational with my thoughts and fears. Also, many of us know that anxiety and panic come with actual physical symptoms hence, the visits to the ER which doesn't help our situation at all since people label us as "crazy." I'm not writing this to tell people that I've found a miracle cure and to "follow these 10 steps to beat anxiety." I'm simply sharing something in a different way. I haven't found an anxiety story online that didn't try to quiz me or sell me a product to "cure anxiety." I'm just a simple person sharing her story in hopes that someone else will connect and realize that it's ok to not be "cured" and that you can still manage your anxiety and be happy. I use the word manage because I feel that you can never get rid of anxiety and just have to accept it and live with it in a healthy way. Sure I still get panic attacks and they suck but through positive thinking I manage them (BTW why do we always think that it's only us that get them, everyone could get them... maybe just not as much as some of us). All the advice I have to give is to really give yourself a chance and trust yourself. Don't get into your head too much, quit over-thinking. Don't see those anxious feelings as enemies, try to see them as your body's response to something exciting. You need anxiety to defend yourself in certain situations anyways. Just try to remember that those butterflies in your stomach or your heart slightly pounding, doesn't mean something horrible is about to happen, it could be that you've found the love of your life or that you've won the lottery!

My anxiety comeback was probably caused by my dad's passing in May 2017. I absolutely do not blame him. A big part of why I decided to take control of my anxiety is because he's always told me that life is too short and I shouldn't waste it worrying about what might happen and what if this and that happened?! I also want to take control because I would frequently rely on my dad to comfort me in those moments of anxiety and panic. Yeah when my panic is intense I cry and beg for him to help me... I believe that he hears me and sends me strength but I gotta do my share. I'm done feeling sorry for myself and asking myself: why me? (Because hey! It isn't only me).

I stopped letting anxiety, fear, and panic run my life. I'm in control. We all have our moments of weakness and there's nothing wrong with any of it. We just need to reming ourselves how strong we really are. It's easy to lose ourselves in our moments of weakness, it's to lose ourselves as long as we never give up the search. ;)

Peace my friends.