Are You Mentally Weak?

I recently came across one of those articles that constantly circulate on our Facebook feeds, the ones with the catchy titles such as “10 ways to know if he’s into you,” or “12 personality traits that prove you’re an annoying girlfriend.” You know, those articles none of us really question or believe, but read anyway? This specific article was called “13 things mentally strong people don’t do” and it was published on a website made to empower, inspire, and build so that people can #livetheirbestlife.

While this article wasn’t false, and it is probably true that “strong people” don’t shy away from change or don’t waste energy on things they cannot control, I couldn’t help but feel bullied by the drill sergeant-like tone the article was shouting at me while I read it. I have wasted time feeling sorry for myself, I have worried about pleasing everyone, and I have feared taking calculated risks! Sh*t, I had done 11/13 things on this list… Was I not mentally strong?

I’ve always thought that life wasn’t about what happens to you, but rather how you handle whatever comes your way. Lessons come in many different forms, and not to get all “spiritual,” but I’m convinced the same lessons will show up over and over until you’ve learned the life task at hand. While I do appreciate the rigid list of things mentally strong people don’t do, I realized the article was focusing more on the destination, and less the journey. Was a list of empty criteria inspiring in any way? All it left me feeling was that I wasn’t mentally strong; I was reminded that I had made most of these mistakes (several times) and was left questioning how this list came naturally to others and if so, why not to me? Way to empower!

All jokes aside, there’s something very important that needs to be said here. This article is the perfect example of society telling you where you should be, without teaching you how to get there. Imagine for a second if the article was called “13 ways to strengthen your mental health” and each point mentioned on the list gave you valid tips on how to work on yourself in respect to that point. How much more positive and constructive would that be?

There is so much more strength in compassion, vulnerability, and sensitivity than the constant false image of everyone always having everything under control. It’s fake. We’re all on some level trying to figure out what the f*ck we’re doing.

There’s something extremely comforting in knowing that others feel, struggle, and face adversities in the same way that we do. The real strength is standing up and admitting that sometimes you do shy away from change, sometimes you do dwell on the past, and sometimes you even resent other people’s success. And it's okay. (All on the list of things mentally strong people don’t do *long eye roll*) The real empowerment lies in revealing your healed scars and showing others how they can heal theirs, too.