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Help. Help! HELP!
It's a hard thing to do; asking for help. Especially in certain situations. A lot of the time, we straight up refuse help because either we don't want to bother people, we were raised to believe we could do it on our own, or we firmly believe that accepting help is admitting defeat. Some of us suffer from all three of these problems. Sometimes, it's something as simple as asking someone to babysit. Other times, we're sitting in our own depression, afraid to ask for help or reach out. It's hard to think that we all haven't been in some form of both situations.
Asking for help is never easy, no matter the situation. However, most of the time, it's necessary. Between actual activities and just having someone to listen to our emotions, we all need help at some point or another. Trying to balance everything on our own 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year is a nightmare and a half. We all have to swallow our pride sometimes and ask.
I keep a journal, or rather, a book full of letters to my daughter that explain what's happening in our lives with each significant (or significant at the moment) event. Recently, my family has been going through a tough time. What family isn't though, right? Anyway, I was writing to her to explain our family's state and why, as much as we drive each other all crazy, we need each other. We need each and every member of our family, in the good times and the bad. That's when it hit me. She's going to go through the bad times and there's going to be moments when I'm not going to be the one she reaches to for help.
I began writing to her about how hard it is to ask for help. But how absolutely necessary it is too. I wrote in detail about a time in my life when I struggled with depression. Perhaps, the hardest moment of my life so far. Struggled for months and distanced myself from everyone, thinking that telling them was wasting their time; that I was a burden. Finally, it became too much to bear and I broke down. I asked for help. I wrote to her as a bawled my eyes out, about how much I didn't want to ask for help, about how it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I had to do it. I wrote to her about how asking for help saved my life.
Our children are growing up in a world where almost everyone suffers from depression at one point in their lives. Pretty much every person we know has either been on anti-depressants, anti-anxieties, or to see a therapist. This world gives us anxiety just sending our kids to school. This is the world our kids are growing up in and we must, must, MUST remind them that they are allowed to ask for help. It is never wrong to ask for help. It's hard to ask for help, but never wrong.
I want my daughter to know that it's not wrong to ask for help, no matter the situation. While I struggle with the same problem myself. I also want to raise her to be independent. My father always taught me growing up to never rely on anyone else. Which made it super difficult to ask him for help. He was always willing to help us with anything and everything that showed up and threw our lives into chaos. That didn't make it any less hard to ask for help though. We were supposed to be able to do it all ourselves. Or at least, that's what I thought for a very, very long time. I am trying very hard to make sure that my daughter doesn't think that way. I know I'm not going to be the only influence in this subject of her life, but I hope that I'm a big one.
And to anyone struggling in this moment to ask someone for help: I could say don't be, but it's not that simple. Instead, I tell you to remember that everyone has been there. Everyone has had trouble asking for help with something. Everyone. I want you to keep in mind that you don't have to face this world alone. It's too big to be alone all the time. It's too big to never ask for help. Help is something we all need. Human interaction is essential and part of that is asking for help. It will always be okay to swallow your pride and ask. Even if it is not a friend or family, you can ask for help...you can ask a doctor, a teacher...anyone who will listen. People need people. They always will. It is okay to ask for help.