samy costello
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How I Broke Myself
There are too many people in this world who know the feeling: the nonstop urge, a relentless craving of something to feel right; to feel whole. I know very well the suffering that accompanies a life of addiction. My whole life I have struggled with trying to fill an unexplained void at all desperation. It didn't start with Budweiser and 1800 Tequila, that much I can testify. It started with gasoline and cocaine as a matter of fact. Foil boils and a few broken televisions hidden in the woods behind my apartment complex was my home away from home. I was nothing more than an angry eleven year old looking for warmth. I grew up feeling alone and worthless as an effect of an emotionally unavailable mother with two jobs and an emotionally and physically abusive sister. In the home, there was always tension and dysfunction; outside the home, there was always tension and dysfunction. With my role models rolling up weed and chasing white lines in front of me, I never stood a chance. Such is the story of my addiction.
By samy costello5 years ago in Psyche