Being Scared of Things that Aren't There

People are scared of many different things. No one really understands why we develop fears during our lives. Different people can be scared of the same thing, but the amount which they are both scared can be very different.

Some of the more common fears can be;

1. Spiders
2. Snakes
3. Dogs
4. Cats
5. Sharks

However not everyone is scared of something (well some people claim to not be scared of anything) but usually everyone has something they are scared of.

The reason why this story is called "being scared of something that isn't there" is because I am going to tell you why/how I am scared of something that isn't there.

At the age of 10, my best friend and I at the time thought it would be a good idea to have a sleepover and watch horror movies. My mother has always been a fan of horror movies so I thought it couldn't be that bad... I was wrong, so very wrong. To this day I still can't remember what films we watched but I think they may have scarred me for life.

I'm not sure whether it's the horror movies that have actually impacted most on me. Leaving me being scared of things that I know aren't there or if it's because of my depression and severe anxiety. However, I've never spoken to anyone about this or gone to a doctor to see whether there is anything I can actually do about it, I just go day by day.

As usual, I do have some good days and some bad days. The good days usually involve not over thinking or not becoming scared of things that I know must be in my head. The bad days usually consist of staying in safe places such as my house or staying with people who make me feel comfortable or who I think could "save" me if anything did happen.

Although I am slightly scared of spiders and snakes, I am usually more scared of the things that "aren't" there. It is very hard to understand if anyone will have the same concept as me but here goes.

On a day to day basis, I can be walking around the house, and if I come out of one room into a different room, I either have to do it very quickly or have to constantly look around me to make sure there is nothing there that could physically harm me. I’m not really sure why I do this.

I find it hard to walk places around my home town or anywhere else on my own because I either walk fast and cause myself severe breathlessness or I have to keep checking around me or behind me to make sure some on or something isn't following me.

I know to whoever is reading this I may seem quite weird but I think this is just how I have been programmed as a person. In my head, it can feel like someone is either behind me, someone is watching me, staring at me or it can feel like someone is following me. However, when I'm in my own home it only seems to happen in certain rooms, I'm not sure whether it's because something about that room triggers this or because over time I have associated these rooms with whatever goes on in my head.

It can be quite distressing for me because I don’t usually tell anyone about this so writing it for a public website is quite worrying for me. I don't always know what people's reactions are going to be. I'd prefer to keep things to myself so I don't have to deal with all of this and deal with what others have to say about it.

However, it's not just the feeling of someone being around me, sometimes I picture different faces, some quite scary and others I've just associated with being hurtful or scary. After an episode such as these happen in my head I am usually quite anxious afterwards and prefer to try and keep my mind busy to try and forget about most things that have happened throughout the day.

Although most of the "episodes" happen throughout the day it can also sometimes cause quite severe nightmares/dreams throughout the night. Sometimes I can wake up shaking, screaming or crying. However, I don't always remember what has happened within the nightmare but usually they are quite vivid within my mind for nearly the whole day.

I don't know whether I am the only person to "suffer" from these "episodes" but I've never had anyone say that they have experienced anything near the same as I have.