Break the Silence

What will other people think?

Nearly everyone raised in the South Asian community will have heard their parents use this as a variable in their decision process. This constant focus on perception not only hinders progress but also perpetuates low emotional intelligence within the South Asian community.

Before diving into the more focused issue of mental health, I want to take this time to also expose the lack of utilization of healthcare services among South Asians in the Unites States. Although the South Asian population is one of the fastest growing populations in the United States, approximately 40% of South Asians have no regular source of care. This may not come as a surprise to many South Asians, as we tend to delay help-seeking. Many South Asians use doctors as a last resort for unmanageable pains; the most common treatments are home remedies and “waiting it out.” This minimalistic attitude towards medicine may be due to the fact that immigrants bring the culture surrounding healthcare in South Asia with them. For example, in India, individuals only visit the doctor when they are ill, and patients commonly fail to report pain. It is assumed that if an individual is seeing a doctor, that the pain is severe.

With this in perspective on health, the concept of mental health in South Asian communities is a foreign and slippery one. In fact, many South Asian languages do not have a word for depression. The causes of such emotions are usually attributed to the natural fluctuations of life. Members of the South Asian community are raised in a bubble—one where mental illnesses are an excuse for attention and laziness. Anxiety and depression are the “easy way” to stop trying. For the most part, education and success are what matter; you don’t do things for pleasure because everything you do must serve a “meaningful” purpose. Socializing and feeding your emotional needs are a “waste of time” and are activities that can be taken up when you have time (once you are grown and “successful"). As a result, many children raised within the South Asian community find that they have low emotional intelligence, or do not possess the ability to express their emotions in a healthy manner.

In other words, pain management (both physical and mental) is often not a priority among South Asians.

What’s even worse is that when mental health issues are brought up in South Asian families, the most common response is to cover it up. The South Asian culture is a community culture. Word gets around quickly, and the priority is to make sure that what is going around is positive and contributes to the family’s perceived social position.

What will people think? Just focus on other things. Don’t think about it. Suppress your feelings, because they are just preventing you from being successful.

The silence that follows this suppression is the most dangerous of all.

How can we change the way South Asians think about mental health? Simple: speak up. Share your stories and have each other’s backs. Break the silence.

This article was written from the perspective of a South Asian who has witnessed these issues in the South Asian community. However, stigmas surrounding mental health are not limited to this community. Mental health issues seem to be a taboo subject in most of Asia, as they are associated with weakness and shame. There are many other types of stigmas in other communities that need to be exposed. I am not entitled to speak on behalf of other cultures, so if you are reading this and thought of issues in your culture, I urge you to speak up.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, feelings, or urges, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, 911, or a qualified physician immediately.