Breaking the Hold You Had on Me

It was 2017 and at the time, I thought I was just like everyone else. Working to get ahead, just serving tables full time until something new came along or until I found my career path. Then, I was reintroduced to you at a party one night after turning twenty one. We had met a couple of times outside of class back in high school, but our times together never ended well. As the party went on, we got to know each other more and more and at the time I thought you were so cool and fun to be around. As the days continued to roll by, I found myself meeting up with you after I would leave work. Sometimes we’d meet at bars, sometimes I’d just pick you up and we’d go to my house. We had the greatest times, even went to parties together and made the greatest of memories. As time went on though, I noticed that you were beginning to be around more and more; until eventually it was like you never left my side and you were starting to get in the way of some things. If I had family plans, you’d find a way to get me to bail and crash a party with you or convince me to call off work so we could get together. I’ll admit, at the time it wasn’t a big deal to me; I enjoyed your company. I enjoyed our times together so much, the giddy laughter, the loud and vibrant music in our background, it was exciting. It was a thrill, until you started introducing me to your friends. That’s where everything fell apart but You wouldn’t let me go. It got to the point where I wasn’t showing up to work and if I had then it wasn’t for long because you’d call me with an excuse for me to leave, even my managers knew what was going on. We’d be out in the city all night, getting mixed up in all the wrong things, causing disturbances everywhere we went together. Your friends were even attached at my hip, always asking me to take them with me or to say hello before I leave, it was taking a toll on me. I ended up being with you and your friends so much that I lost track of everything around me, forgetting important dates and forgetting things I had done or needed to do, I was losing sleep and not eating; just to be with you and your friends. I thought you guys liked me, that you wanted to be with me because I was great, not because you wanted to tear me down. That’s exactly what you did, you and your friends had such a grip on me that I lost myself to you, I had forgotten who I was and every moment without you left me in cold shakes and paralyzing anxiety. I lost my Job because of you, I lost my apartment because of you, I even lost my friends because once I decided to drop you, you latched on to them and kept dragging them into your schemes.

It’s been a year now, since I’ve last seen you or your friends and I still think about you everyday. Like, what’s one little visit? It’s harmless right? Wrong. You no longer have a grip on me and you never will again because after all; my Dad always told me alcohol and pills were no good.

Thank you for reading my story!