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It started when he was 10. Puberty had struck and the puppy fat stage had begun. It doesn't always happen to everyone, but it did to him. A little extra weight here and there, but still he was him. He was slightly chubby, but to his mother it was cute so he didn't care. He laughed, he smiled, he was him.
Then came the acne, followed by the hair growth in awkward places, the deepened voice and the mood swings. He was still him, only he was more fat that puppy...
...There was nothing wrong with that of course but people looked at him like it was more then a big deal. That he was the "big deal."
"Enough was enough!" He said, looking into the mirror. Time to make a choice about HIS LIFE.
He's now in college. He is the unhealthiest he has ever looked, but the thinnest he has ever been. "That's what I'm supposed to look like," he grins. He's closer to the body type that he wants to be.
Keep at it...Keep at it...Keep at it...Then he faints.
"I'm getting better" he told himself. He's not. He has to be so he is. No one will ever see. He will go through life and try not to draw attention. "I'm happy. I'm happy," he says to himself. He knows what he wants to be. He wishes not to be the person he is so often that at times he thinks he believes it.
He went out for lunch the other day. His friend didn't notice, no one can. "I'm happy," he says. He only went once because he doesn't want the attention. He won't be the burden he's suppose to be. Even still he had to go. The sight...the smell...it was all too much.
That was his favourite food once. "It is!"
It always leads him back here. He's stood over the toilet bowl. He tells himself "this is a bad idea..."
"Just one more go..."
He wants to stop being him. He wants to start building something new. He knows this has gone more then too far. This has had a form of control over him for too long.
He wants to get help, so he gets help. He wants to sort through issues, so he sorts through them.
This is the bridge between the end of the last chapter and the beginning of a whole new book. This is now apart of him and he will learn from it.
"I am stronger."
"I am more focused."
"I. Am. Happy."