Bullies Owe Me Money

I feel that people who bullied me in the past owe me money in the present since emotional, verbal, physical, and psychological abuse do harm to your mental health with anxiety or PTSD symptoms. In this case, I feel that since I have limited income, my bullies owe me big time. I didn’t know for many years that I had pediatric-onset schizoaffective disorder. Nobody bothered to tell me about my schizophrenia. When they finally did, I lost self-confidence, but that was only because I was an insecure 20-year old who had just found out about my genetic disability. I have 22q, which I’m trying to be more forthcoming with telling people about it.

22q is a minor genetic deletion. The heart condition I was born with healed up at 2 to 3 years of age according to my medical record. 22q causes schizophrenia, and there are several genes which are responsible for schizophrenia anyway. Schizophrenia is hard for the treated person to deal with or even the non-schizophrenic. I was bullied for no good reason since I had a high pitched, nasal voice from 1-8 years old. The palette surgery helped heal this situation.

I spend my life paranoid about people noticing my disability. It causes minor facial differences as well. Hence my paranoia, and I also have a guilt/shame complex I’m trying to eradicate on my own, although I could use a therapist for this. I have made writing my career, I have an interest in starting to learn art, and I’m going to plant a garden if I can afford potting soil in the near future. I got picked on growing up for my mental illness symptoms. The bottom line is that I feel I’m owed reparations from every bully I ever had. This could mean seed money for my business ideas.

Picking on somebody disabled is wrong and quite rude. I attempted to go to NAMI classes on mental illness; I find that helped marginally but many organizations in my hometown which are supposedly devoted to helping mentally ill people are rude to people who are functional. Since when is it socially acceptable to be rude to somebody functional who can fight back, give or take how tired they are? There are days when I cannot mudsling, be witty, or give people a taste of their own medicine.

Do not take advantage of my exhaustion on those days. I have only but learned how to sleep through the night in recent times. It was not always so until I found Geodon. I also take Lamictal these days, Buspar, and Lexapro for my OCD. I desperately need OCD therapy but I’m not about to crack, begging my parents for money. That is what they want me to do. They will not give me extra income for certain expenses right now. This is why I’m looking at every which way to make money, including artwork. I want to enroll in some art classes sometime if I ever have the money to do so. The thing is, I’m low-income. I need extra money to build my freelance writing/media empire. I have to publish my novella, for example, with a major science fiction/fantasy publisher. I’m thrilled that I started working at a psychic hotline because I need the money. I’m doing well with this already, and envision that I have the time to do this as well as working on my copywriting. I’m busy trying to figure out how making extra money works, seeing as I do not get extra income. See, this is my life, low-income, spinning my wheels, and eventually finding a volunteer opportunity.