Chill Out!

All my life I grew up always striving to be the best at whatever it was that I was doing. Whether it be at sports, in school with my grades, or at work. Recently, me knowing what I’m capable of pretty much ended up with me suffering three anxiety attacks in three months, not sleeping well, multiple migraines, and a whole bunch of other stuff; I didn’t want to admit it but I was burnout. Something I thought I would never go through. I’ve only had panic/anxiety attacks whenever I’m in a car due to a past car accident that traumatized me for life.

To better understand how I got to that point you should know that I have somewhat of a “perfectionist” type personality, I always have to finish what I start and make sure that it’s done the right way. That being said, it was very hard for me to fathom that I had reached that “burnout” point. The anxiety attacks alone were something that came as a surprise to me, especially when I found myself pacing back and forth in a steaming hot subway, crying on the phone with my boyfriend, hyperventilating waiting for the next train to reach the station. I didn’t want to admit it to myself because of who I am, I thought I had failed; I didn’t want to admit that I had too much on my plate and couldn’t handle it. I had to take a step back, and ask myself, 'What’s more important? My physical and mental health or my 9-5, which was the cause of my breakdown?'

Living in NYC is pretty tough for me, with all the hustle, the fast-paced lifestyle; it has sometimes become too much for me. (I lived in a small town in Pennsylvania called Reading where I pretty much knew everyone). So I had to evaluate my surroundings and pinpoint what was triggering my stress and this feeling of being overwhelmed. I couldn’t just up and leave NYC, so I was able to make an arrangement at the office to work four days a week, Wednesdays being my off day. Let me just say, that has to be one of the best decisions I have made in a while. I have been able to get back into my hobbies that I once loved along with just clearing my mind and not thinking about anything but myself. I was finally able to just say, “It’s ok to be selfish with my time.” My boyfriend and even my dog have also benefitted from these “mental health days.” I am no longer a grouch or a ball of worry and stress. I feel happy.

If you’re going through anything close to what I was dealing with, then it’s time to CHILL THE F*** OUT! Way back in 1943, a psychologist mentioned that a person will only become happy when they express themselves and reach their full potential. Take that into consideration. Seriously, your 9-5 will be there the next day, don’t worry about that email you forgot to respond to and take time to work on yourself. Use those vacation days, go on a mini getaway; use those personal days to pamper yourself, just CHILL. You can’t give your all to something else, be it work or school if you’re not healthy and mentally OK. Whenever you feel that you’re about to freak out because that one pestering client who keeps calling you or that deadline your boss has been nagging you about, take five minutes to breathe and clear your mind; your mind, body, and even your coworkers will appreciate it.