Beyond the Blues
Understanding depression is difficult; hear from Psyche's community of peers on their experiences with this mood disorder.
PostPartum Depression
This is my experience with Postpartum Depression. Growing up I had two completely different influences in my life, my mom and my dad. My dad was all about what he interpreted from the bible and nothing else. My mom was also a believer but interpreted the bible different and felt that she was supposed to change with the world. When it came to things like depression, they were polar opposites which I feel made this experience even worse for me. My dad was completely anti depression, he felt there was no such thing. My mom is very open with her own battle with it. With the combination of both of these views made it extremely confusing for myself.
Depression
Living with depression is hard to portray to someone who is lucky enough to not suffer from this mental illness, or any kind of mental illness. I like to think of myself as a good writer but even now I am struggling to find the words to give even the slightest insight. On the worst of days, living with depression is not living. Mental illness is something widely and commonly misunderstood. Of course, mental illness differs and there are various types of it, all of which are life altering, but I will focus on depression as it is the most common and something from which I suffer myself. The idea that something inside my head is not right, not only terrifies me, but deeply saddens me. I often think: why me? What is it about my head and my brain that is different from that of a normal happy person? Well, I think that I know the cause. I believe the root of my depression stems from losing my dad when I was age 15, but there are many other factors. Some people have no specific cause or trauma that triggers it, it just happens. Either way, I have to live with it. And so do many others. To think that a chemical imbalance in my brain has had such an impact in my life, more so than real people and real interactions. It is all in my head and I always think to myself ‘why can’t you just be ok.' There is so much in my life I have to be grateful for, but it’s almost as if it is just out of my reach. It is as if I am looking at my own life through a glass screen. I’m not in control. Sometimes it is easier to stay in bed. There is a sort of safety about that, something I can’t explain.
Rebecca CorbettPublished 6 years ago in PsycheDepression
Nobody chooses to be sad or suffer from depression; many times it is situational depression caused by current, traumatic events or family dysfunction. Chronic depression comes and goes but can be just as dangerous, as it can lead to self-harm or suicide, a permanent solution to troubles and challenges. Some people suffer from genetic depression, inherited from parents.
Martina R. GallegosPublished 6 years ago in PsycheI Considered Suicide...
Today, I told my long-term boyfriend that I want to kill myself. It isn't the first time I've felt it. It isn't the first time I've told him.
One Year
One year. One year full of change, of healing, of regaining sense of who I am. I've made mistakes, and I've learned my lessons. I've mended broken friendships that are better now than they've ever been. I've put myself out there like I've never done before. Most importantly, I've become stronger and more independent than ever before in my entire life. I am no longer looking for gratification in others. I don't need financial stability from a man, I can do things on my own. I'm in control of my life and my aura, and it has taken me one year to figure it all out.
Brittni SchultzPublished 6 years ago in PsycheDepression
Having a mental disorder can be really hard. It makes it harder to cure because so many people suffer from mental disorders such as depression but everyone copes with it differently. You often feel like you are the only one in the entire world feeling the way you are when in actual fact there are 350 million reported cases of depression.
Emily RoyalPublished 6 years ago in PsycheThe Man with 1000 Masks
What's the point? That is a question I find myself asking myself often. Why should I get out of bed when all I really want to do is drown in the covers of safety? Safety from the outside world the people in it, the people I'm supposed to care about. Safety from the constant fears of being labelled a failure for the entirety of my life, from never accomplishing anything. Safety from another day wasted sitting in my room doing nothing because I don't have the energy or motivation to go out and make something of myself. Awaiting the inevitable text or call to go out and see my friends or loved ones, knowing I'll have to go in my closet and grab a few masks so they never have to know and worry about what is really going on. Being too afraid of social rejection to tell anyone how serious this is in order to get proper help. Everyday pretending to smile and laugh, pretending to care about the new social trends that we're supposed to care about. Realizing how screwed I am when I don't even care who's supposed to be leading our nation. Because who can really lead us? No one has any answers here, we're all just guessing and doing our best to bullshit to the top of the food chain. You sprint through your lives like cheetah chasing a gazelle, while I relate more to the tortoise in a constant state of impending danger. If we must fear the indifference of good men above all else, then I am this worlds greatest threat with my indifference.
Sloan KetteringPublished 6 years ago in PsycheDepression
The thing I’ve learned since I was diagnosed is that everyone suffers from depression in very different ways and it affects everyone differently. Some people think of it as dark clouds and rain, but you know what? I love the rain. I could literally stand in the rain for hours and be perfectly content. Some people see it as a creature that sits on their back, dragging them down. In this piece, I’m going to tell you all how it affects me and some of the ways I try to overcome it.
Den1c MacleodPublished 6 years ago in PsycheJust Listen
You ever feel stuck? As if life is just passing you by yet you’re just standing still? People tend to say “oh you’re just not living enough, live in the moment, risk it all, blah blah blah” but what they fail to realize it may go deeper than just lack of motivation. Personally, I have been battling depression for the past 4 years and to be honest it’s even harder to overcome it as an adult simply because life is so stressful for most of us and everyday is another challenge. I didn’t want to get hooked on Psyche meds, so I decided I was going to fight this depression along with my anxiety ALONE! What's even worse is that no one understands how you feel because, in their mind, you’re just being crazy or overdramatic; they tell you to just get up and brush it off and that the grass is greener on the other side, no one really takes the time to sit down and hear how you really feel and try to understand your thought process, so now you feel all alone which makes your depression worsen. I didn’t understand why I felt so overwhelmed with sadness all the time, I mean, part of my problems were that I was always arguing with my mom and my boyfriend as well (and I mean real hardcore arguing). They didn’t understand how I felt, my anxiety would manifest itself as anger and rage and frustration, I hated my life but I hated myself more; always felt like I wasn’t good enough, that no matter how hard I tried, my efforts to please everyone and make them happy were never enough. I got to a point where I started contemplating suicide, didn’t care if I hurt people around me with my death; they didn’t care about me while I was alive right? I started to binge eat and purge, I became so bulimic that my body would just automatically vomit by itself everytime I ate something. My physical health and my mental health were severely declining and I had no one there for me but my faith. I would be at work just sitting there when my anxiety would kick in for no reason. I would get an overwhelming nervous feeling, my heart started to race, i couldn’t handle this anymore, this had to stop! So I started writing down all the negativity in my head and one night I realized what my REAL problem was: I was living for others and not living for myself. I was so programmed to live to satisfy other people that I was leaving myself behind, I wasn’t doing anything that made me happy at all!! So I decided things were going to change, that I was going to do things I always wanted to do, like dancing , working out and losing all the weight I gained from eating my feelings while I was depressed, I started living for ME! And let me tell you how amazing it felt to break away from those chains, I began to Love myself again, I began to see the beautiful part of me! I didn’t want to die anymore I wanted to live. I know our main goal in life is to find true happiness but you will never find it unless you have it within you, because that’s where happiness truly lives. Now I'm not saying mental health isn’t a real thing, not everyone is capable of overcoming certain mental disorders, that is why I want people who read this to know that whether it’s them or someone they know with a mental health disorder, you are NOT ALONE ! Please read the signs and if anyone you know says they want to kill themselves, I beg you don’t dismiss those words, take them very seriously because some people mean what they say: Always listen because you might just save someones life!
Jey HernandezPublished 6 years ago in PsycheWords from a Survivor
Someone once asked me what it’s like being a survivor. Here’s what it’s like. Some days I’m full of life. I can feel pure happiness coursing through my veins. On days like these I dream of a future so beautiful it makes me tear up. A future where I have a purpose. A future where dark days are few and far between. On days like these I start writing my vows to my future wife. I dream of a house filled with love and lots of dogs. Days like these are what makes surviving so worth it.
Madison JacksonPublished 6 years ago in PsycheOh, Internet...
It's a strange and wonderful world we live in. Rather than having to go out and expose ourselves to the anxieties and basic bullshit of dealing with people face to face, we can simply communicate our feelings with some frenzied typing, or even better — the meme and/or gif.
Kay DeschainPublished 6 years ago in PsycheStruggles People with Depression Know Too Well
Depression is a very difficult disorder to understand. However, there are 350 million people who suffer from depression, and they share similar struggles, though it's a different process for everyone. These are 10 different struggles people with depression know all too well.
Kelsey LangePublished 6 years ago in Psyche