Dear Anxiety

Dear Anxiety

My name is Tatiana, I am 20. You are the worst thing that has happened to me, you have caused damage to my emotion, and attack me in the most inconvenient times. I am so done with you, and it is time for you to leave me alone and never come back.

Goodbye,

Tatiana

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About 3 months ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, It has been the hardest thing I've had to go through, but every day I am getting through it little by little. I am writing about this because I want to share the hope. Why the hope, you ask? Because there is hope of working through this, and not everyone today has hope to get through this. Is it hard? Yes. Are you going to get through it? Yes. I understand where you are coming from if you are like me, and every day has an anxiety attack, but if you don't understand, it's okay too. You are here because you want to understand someone you may know and what is happening to them. Well, I want to give you hope, but first let me start off with this, you are not crazy, and the person you may know, they're not crazy. Over 40 million Americans suffer from anxiety. Don't believe me, GOOGLE IT, but I am wanting to share my story to give hope to others and help people who might be going through the same thing, you are not alone I promise.

In 2015, I was in a car accident; I wasn't injured and walked away with whiplash and some scrapes, but nothing too serious. The doctor was really surprised to see us after three days, looking like there was not even a scratch. Shortly after the car accident was when I started to notice I was feeling on edge, but it was a sign of PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder) which is normal after something like a car accident. Also, before had I had never been in a car accident. It was hard, but I would have really small panic attacks that I thought would go away after a while. I also had no idea what anxiety was at the time, then things got worst. I later went to college and noticed they had been progressively getting more and more intense, so then I took a semester off to figure out what was happening to my body. I also had health issues on top of it. Months after my first semester was over, and I was home, that's when it got worse. Here is what my anxiety is like:

• Shortness of breath
• Dizziness
• Shaking
• Rapid mood changes
• Depression
• Scratching arms and legs
• Finger Tapping
• Hitting head on my hands
• Stomach Discomfort

Everyone is different when they have anxiety. This is just some of the things that happen when I do have an attack. I felt like I was crazy, I felt like everyone would see is that I was faking it and just trying to get attention or something like that, but no I was not crazy and I had a lot of support from my family and friends, even when they didn't understand what was happening to me, and some were in the same boat. Now I have reached out for help, and I have seen a psychologist; that was the best thing I have done, I highly recommend seeing one, if you haven't already. They're the best, but I don't want jump ahead there just yet. I found out that I had anxiety was when I was on YouTube, and a YouTuber was vlogging one of his episodes. The YouTuber was also diagnosed with the same thing I was, but at the time I had no clue that's what it was until that moment, then later being confirmed by my psychologist. I also before had tried to use different things to help with the attacks, but nothing really helped. I never tried any prescribed medications, I am more on the natural side, but I try lavender oil which helped a lot. I know it might sound crazy but it made it so much easier to focus. It was a quick fix but slowed down the really bad attacks. So the hope part you have been waiting for, okay, here it is.

1. Find help. Getting help, as I was talking about, is the best thing; talking to your doctor or finding a good therapist, and working through maybe past stuff or trauma in your life.
2. Talk with a family member or friend about what is happening. I know in my life, my family and friends have my back, and they encourage me to keep going when times get hard.
3. Breathe. This was something I learned will help when I feel an attack coming on, although it doesn't work for everyone. All you do is breathing and sticking out your stomach. Try not moving your shoulders up and down, and then breath out. Also, try telling yourself you're safe. Everything is fine.

Okay, this is the last and most important thing,

Positivity. It works, believe me. I also see a chiropractor three times a week and a naturopath. It may sound odd but it has worked. I have worked through trauma in my body, as well as energy. Your body can also go through the trauma as well and with a chiropractor, it can help with the person injured in the muscles and joints. It has definitely changed my health and balanced my body to be where it should be. My anxiety attacks are now maybe once every three weeks, and I am able to control them better with the help I have received. The naturopath helps move the negativity out, and leave the positive energy in. This is what I have also noticed that has changed: I and more positive now than I have ever been. Being positive helps because, I don't about you, but, I don't know how many time a day I open my phone or just go out, and there is a lot of negativity around, but that is why it is also good to create that environment for yourself. Now, you can't get away from it altogether, but just writing yourself a note like "you're beautiful," "you're going to kick butt at that interview" or just when you wake up, go smile in the mirror at yourself, or laugh, it can help.

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So Dear Anxiety,

I have hope. Yes, I may have moments of panic, but I know everything is going to be okay, even when it doesn't feel like it. I know I can get through it, but I just want to let you know you don't control my life. You don't own my life. I can get through life. I remain positive. When the negativity hits I will still smile because I can get through this. Thank you for your time, but I can take it for here, away from you, so goodbye. I have hope. I will be just fine.

Sincerely,

Tatiana