Depression

Heaviness—in your chest, in your stomach, or even in your head. Almost like you are being weighed down by heavy weights; only, you can't see or get a hold of them. You don't even know where they came from. You don't recall anything that may have caused it. You ignore it and call it a effect of bad weather, or the result of last night's bedroom argument, or just casually even feeling uneasy.

It's not something that happens overnight, it's not a feeling that's erupted because of one incident, nor an immediate effect of a stressful situation. It's a cumulative effect. The past few months, the many ups and downs, the pangs of failure, the hurting from many arguments, the disappointments from life's journey, and also, the reactions to each of these scenarios... Total them all up, close them up in a jar, label it as "negative," and tie it around your neck. Walk with that, and you'll feel close to what depression makes you go through.

The most confusing part is that there are absolutely gala times, when everything feels so normal, so perfect, that you doubt your own emotions. And then come the down days, where you can't point a finger at why, how and when the darkness and hollowness engulfs you.

It's not even a symptom that you can easily describe. It's not a sign that you can show the doctor, yet he diagnoses it in a jiffy. Its a struggle to talk about with friends, family, and even the doctor. The stigma around you related to mental illness worries you, yes, but it's the inability to decide if you actually have it, if you should worry, and most importantly, if you should consult!

If we can run to a specialist for a stomach ulcer, or a gallon bladder stone, or even infertility, then why not for mental illness. It's only an illness, not a madness, and I believe that strongly—however much naivety, ignorance and societal pressures haunt you.

It's okay, if you can't handle it. It's fine if there are down days, and it's alright to feel low about nothing. What is important is the realization that you need help. From a family member, from a friend, near or far, or even from a specialist doctor. The sooner you get help, the faster you overcome it. That, in the long run, will get you back to normalcy; confident, in-control, and on the run!

I've seen several loved one's go through a depressive phase at different times in their lives—after marriage, post pregnancy, divorce/break-ups, family controversies, and even career failures. Some of them healed, some relapsed, and some are still swimming their way out.

My only request to you all, dear friends, is to keep an eye and ear open to anyone around you. You never know who may be in need. You may lend your time and comfort to some one direly in need, and their lives could change for the better. Help one another, as well as those unaware around us to let go of the stigma around mental illness. We can't walk around on the streets fighting against this stigma. We can only help one needy friend, relative or neighbor, and we will be standing up against it in a more meaningful manner. I strongly believe that by helping someone out of their mazes, we end up unknotting our own tiny knots in those same issues. Hold a hand, lend an ear, hug a friend, for it is the smaller things that help get out of these bigger tangles in life.