Depression

Contrary to common belief, depression is a very serious mental illness that affects all aspects of a person’s life from their lifestyle to their mood and can even affect their physical health. Depression affects people of all ages from all walks of life and there is no way of anticipating who, where, or when it might strike.

Depression doesn’t just affect the person suffering with the illness but it also affects those around them. If one of your loved ones is suffering with depression you may be experiencing any number of emotions from frustration, helplessness, anger, fear, sadness, or even guilt. Sometimes it is hard to know what to do when someone you love is battling something that can’t be seen by the naked eye. It’s important to remember that all these emotions are 100% normal.

Even if you are feeling these emotions there are still things you can do to help a person with depression.

The best first step is to learn about depression as a whole. The more knowledge you have the easier it will be to understand what is going on in the mind of the person you are trying to help. One of the biggest things you need to know is how to talk to your friend or family member about depression and how they are feeling.

Things You Need to Remember

Depression is a serious illness—it’s important to remember that even though most of the symptoms aren’t physical and cannot be seen by the naked eye depression is still a very serious illness that has extreme impacts on a person’s life and well-being.

Depression isn’t personal—Depression can make it hard for a sufferer to connect emotionally with anyone, even those they love the most. Depression can lead the sufferer to lash out and get angry at the people they are closest to and this can lead to them saying hurtful things. It’s important to remember it’s the depression talking, not your loved one, try not to take it personally or let it get you down.

It’s not possible for you to "fix" someone else’s depression—remember that the only person who can fix their depression is the person who is suffering with it. Don’t try to rescue your loved one. The only person who can rescue them is themselves. You are just there to support and care for them while they are on their way to recovery.

How Do I Tell If My Friend Has Depression?

There are a few simple signs and symptoms that you can look out for if you suspect someone you know suffers with depression.

When should you be concerned?

• If your friend seems like they don’t care about anything anymore
• If they have lost interest in work, sex, hobbies, and other activities
• If they express a negative outlook on life
• If they are uncharacteristically short-tempered, sad, irritable, or moody
• If they regularly complain about aches and pains like headaches, stomach aches, back pain or joint problems
• If they are drinking more alcohol than usual or abusing drugs including sleeping pills and painkillers
• If they have withdrawn from friends and family
• If they are less sociable than usual
• If they talk about feeling helpless or worthless
• If they are forgetful, disorganized, or indecisive
• If they complain about feeling tired all the time
• If they sleep less than usual or are sleeping too much
• If they are eating more or less than usual and have gained or lost a significant amount of weight

How to Talk to Someone with Depression

There are a few things you must remember when talking to someone with depression about how they are feeling.

What You Can Say That Will Help

• You aren’t alone in this
• You might not see it right now but what you are experiencing is going to change
• Tell me what I can do that will help
• When you feel like you want to give in just tell yourself that you can hang in there for one more second, minute, hour. It’s all about baby steps
• Your life is important to me. You are important to me
• I probably don’t know exactly how you feel but I care about you and I want to help you

Things You Shouldn’t Say To Someone with Depression

• Look on the bright side
• It’s all in your head
• Just snap out of it
• Get over it
• What’s wrong with you?
• We all go through situations like this
• You have such a good life, why do you want to die?

Taking Care of Yourself Can Help a Loved One with Depression

It might sound odd to think that taking care of yourself can do anything to help a loved one with depression but the truth is it really does help. Knowing that you are alright can be a big weight of your loved one’s shoulders, especially when they aren’t feeling great themselves. Always remember this: How can you take care of someone else if you can’t even take care of yourself? You won’t do yourself or your loved one any good if you aren’t up to scratch and you will most likely crack under the pressure and only make things worse.

Tips to Take Care of Yourself

• Talk about how you're feeling—don’t withdraw yourself from other people. You can’t support anyone if you don’t have support yourself
• Keep your own life on track—suspending your own life isn’t going to do you or your loved one any good. It will only encourage them to do the same
• • Set some boundaries—you want to help but you can only do so much. Don’t overdo it

Always remember not to push too hard. It’s easy to push someone over the edge when they already feel like they are standing so close. Allow a depressed person to admit they are depressed but don’t allow them to wallow in it for too long. Encourage them to get out and about and seek treatment.