Depression: A Fight Worth Fighting

Hello, over the many years I've been alive I've encountered a lot of things that have been utterly terrifying and mysterious; however, none of them come close to how awful and terrifying depression is. Many people I've come into contact with claim that they know depression and when I ask they say its sadness. While it does include sadness and despair it's so much more. Within the further ends of this reading, I will explain the signs of depression, depression itself, and how to support yourself or a loved one struggling with it.

First and foremost before I continue, if you or anyone you know is struggling or a danger to themselves, or anyone else, please call the number below:

1-800-273-8255

Chapter 1: What is depression?

Through the last several decades, people have defined depression in an assortment of ways, some colorful and well explained, and some that were simple and short. Some say it's sadness, some say it's hating yourself. The definitions of depression and how one views it is strictly based upon what they experience.

"I would say it's your mind in pure agony. You want to escape, but you can't stop thinking about it and you build walls up to confine it, but your confing yourself in that torture as well" - according to Veronica, a student in New Mexico.

Although sadness is a symptom of depression, sadness is not the same. Depression is a severe mental disorder characterized by a series of signs. Sadness is the feeling you get after a break up or the loss of a loved one.

Depression is something that interferes with every day normal functions.

"Depression can happen at any age, but often begins in the teens or early 20s or 30s. Most chronic mood and anxiety disorders in adults begin as high levels of anxiety in children. In fact, high levels of anxiety as a child could mean a higher risk of depression as an adult," says NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health).

Furthermore, "Depression can co-occur with other serious medical illnesses such as diabetes, cancer, heart disease, and Parkinson’s disease. Depression can make these conditions worse and vice versa. Sometimes medications taken for these illnesses may cause side effects that contribute to depression. A doctor experienced in treating these complicated illnesses can help work out the best treatment strategy."

Chapter 2: Signs

Depression isn't a single entity and has an endless array of signs as to which identify a person with said disorder, the most prominent of which is, of course, sadness. Sadness can be defined as the condition or quality of being sad. This emotion, sadness, can cause you to lose interest in activities that once seemed like a viable option. For example, John Doe can love to write or play video games, but when sadness kicks in he loses interest and has no drive for it. As simple as that may be, it can be alarming at times depending on the severity. It can cause lack of appetite, lack of interest, suicidal ideation, unhealthy behavior (i.e. fighting, misbehavior, poor grades, etc.), and more. One form of misbehavior includes a short temper and lashing out on simple things.

Another sign can be loss of socialization. When depression kicks in, for many people, it can cause a steep drop in the willingness to socialize. This sometimes may be necessary but may reach unhealthy levels if maintained constantly (isolation).

Alongside isolation and loss of interest, studies have reported substance abuse as a sign of depression. When people get to a low that they can't escape they tend to rely on negative coping skills. This ranges from drinking to doing drugs.

When you look at depression you may see other signs such as fatigue. Yes, fatigue can be a sign of several disorders but depression can be a draining illness and may cause a lack of energy according to Psychology Today.

A more unpleasurable sign of a loved one struggling with depression is lack of self care. This goes all across the board from basic hygiene to even socializing at work/school. People who struggle from depression may not shower for days at a time, they may not eat, they may resist or not have the ability to sleep or have a normal sleep schedule. One of the most negative coping skills that takes place is self-harm. Self-harm comes in a variety of methods.

The most daunting sign, at least it's most conflicting, is the person has a sense of hopelessness, worthlessness, uselessness, and more. They begin to isolate and eat themselves alive. This aching and longing for love and a sense of not only self-worth but general worth can become fatal if it manifests too much.

Chapter 3: What causes depression?

Depression is caused by a plethora of factors. Biochemical to situational and outside forces (i.e. abusive household, bullying, etc.).

According to Harvard University, "Every part of your body, including your brain, is controlled by genes. Genes make proteins that are involved in biological processes. Throughout life, different genes turn on and off, so that—in the best case—they make the right proteins at the right time. But if the genes get it wrong, they can alter your biology in a way that results in your mood becoming unstable. In a genetically vulnerable person, any stress (a missed deadline at work or a medical illness, for example) can then push this system off balance."

Another factor in causing depression are stressful life events; this can be as simple as a high school final and as drastic as a loved one passing away. When I was about 9-years-old my parents got a divorce. It was by far one of the worst feelings ever. It stuck me in such a dark hole, like even at 9-years-old, something so gigantic hit me like a brick. Traumatic events may also trigger depressions such as sexual assault, abuse, neglect, abandonment, substance abuse, surviving a suicide attempt, etc.

Depression can also be caused by many more things. It's not diagnosed with any set sign or cause. It's different for everyone. Some people are even born with it because family predecessors have the genetic mutation that causes it. It's not exactly permanently curable; although, a doctor can prescribe medication, therapy, and treatments to make it more tolerable and less significant.

One of the lesser known causes of depression is smoking, drug use, and alcohol use. These three items can cause an imbalance in moods. Alcohol is a depressant and it slows the body and senses down. It's also been shown, within studies done by the CDC, to prolong and/or worsen depressive episodes. On a severe note, it's also been known to cause, prolong, and increase the likelihood of suicidal thoughts.

Aside from alcohol, drugs, and biologic factors causing depression, there's one thing people typically disregard because we are so completely oblivious and reliant on it. We feed it to our kids in a hurry, we use it when we don't have motivation, and it's cheap. That's right, junk food. Junk food can cause depression.

Chapter 4: Coping Skills

Through the 13 years I've studied psychology and mental health I've noticed one thing: not everyone uses the same coping mechanisms. Listed below are some I personally use and more suggestions taken.

One coping skill I've relied on heavily since I was about 10-years-old was writing. I had a therapist who told me that I should write what I feel. At first, the writing had started with how I felt about things such as school or family and now my writings range all the way to fictional writing and articles like the one you're reading currently. Writing can help a lot! One of the things I suggest for the reader who decides to do this is when you're angry write it all out and then rip the paper. It's incredibly therapeutic despite how childish it sounds.

Another great release or escape is art. Art is manageable in all forms for no matter how you feel. You can be angry, sad, hostile, irritated, anxious, anything you can think of and art will be a form of release. This isn't strictly limited to drawing and painting either. This can be photography, designing a var decal group on a video game, writing music, making beats on an app. It's endless.

Many people have told me that when I struggle that I should go socialize, but not everyone can become social butterflies. Sometimes solitude is what you'll need, and if it is, take it. Taking time to yourself is just as important as hanging with a friend or your spouse. If you need to take a day to yourself to get your things together, do it. If anything I highly recommend it. A lot of toxic aspects usually drown the sense of sight. That doesn't mean you're physically blind, but in the sense you don't know what's best because you grow attached. Taking negativity out of your life is another skill.

Taking toxic things out is not only a coping skill, but it can also be seen as treating yourself. Self care is by far the most important thing and I cannot emphasize that enough! Go for a drive on a sunny day, blast some upbeat music, go for a walk with headphones, do what makes you happy. Sit down and write a list of what makes you happy, play with your pet, do something. Don't let toxic people get to you. If your girlfriend, boyfriend, or whatever is abusive and constantly dragging you down walk away. In the end, it's best for you.

On a note of wanting something out of it, maybe art isn't your forte. Maybe isolation isn't what you need. If this is the case, go work out. Working out has been proven to be healthy and an antidepressant. When you work out it releases a chemical, adrenaline, that gets you excited. It cleans your system of any bad feelings. The great thing about working out is that not only does it vanquish your depression, even momentarily, but you gain from it too. You look good so you'll feel good. Working out doesn't require weights. You can go for a walk, run a mile or so, do push-ups, sign-ups, or even stretch. Being cooped up in a room isn't the best. As a gamer, I would know.

One simple coping skill can be a shower. Whether you prefer hot or cold is on you. A hot shower will relax your body and a cold shower will wake you up.

Coping skills are not limited to what I've said. There are thousands of them. Some won't work, some will. Finding one that works is trial and error, but remember just because one doesn't work that doesn't mean that it's a lost cause.

Chapter 5: Types of Depression

Depression comes in many different forms. Some are more severe than others.

The first type of depression is major depression. This depression impairs the ability to lead a normal lifestyle. This depression is most common in adolescents and young adults. It makes it hard to function. This includes but isn't limited to self-care, eating, work, school performance, and more.

The next type is psychotic depression. This is one of the more severe depressions. This depression is characterised by a major depressive disorder meeting a state of psychosis or a break in reality. It is often mixed up with Bipolar disorder because of the hallucinations and delusions.

Another type is postpartum depression; this depression is a more severe case of baby blues. This is commonly found in 10 to 15 percent of women after labor. It's caused by the hormonal imbalance in the brain and physical changes post labor.

Furthermore, we have Seasonal Affective Disorder (A.K.A SAD). This depression is commonly diagnosed to those who suffer depressive episodes most in the winter months. It comes to a halt during summer and springtime. It's caused by the lack of natural sunlight.

Lastly, we have persistent depressive disorder. This disorder is one which lasts two years or more. Symptoms may be worse and symptoms may be lesser, but they must last two years or more. They may have scarce episodes or many episodes.

Chapter 6: How can I help someone?

This is a very big question, not big as in size, but big as in there's a copious amount of ways to answer. First and foremost, if it's an immediate emergency, please call the number provided at the start of this article.

The best way you can help someone is by listening. A lot of people just need to talk about what's going on; however, coercion is not advised because it can provoke and worsen the condition. When someone comes to you asking for help, take a few minutes to just sit and talk. Ask how their day is. If it's been rough. ask why. If they decline to respond, don't push, just move on. One great thing is distraction. So many people, adolescents, and young adults specifically, overthink a good amount and just need a distraction from what's going on.

Another way you can help someone who's struggling is compassion. This world turned ill and violent, so negative and dark. People have forgotten what compassion and kindness was. The smallest gestures of kindness can uplift someone's horrid day to be a little brighter. These include, but are not limited to:

• Send a text asking how they are or to check on them. Some people feel worthless with their depression, so send a text saying you're thinking of them. It can go a long way it can even save a life.
• Hold the door open. Literally. When you see anyone going to a door that you are, take the minute or less to fall back and hold the door open for them.
• Pay it forward: if you're in a drive-thru and you have some extra money, pay for the person behind you. It doesn't have to be a drive-thru, either. You can be in line at Starbucks.
• Gifts: as grand as this sounds, as unbearable as it feels for some to spend money, it's not hard. If you have a co-worker, friend, relative, or even your spouse, if they're having a hard time, get them something small: their favorite drink, flowers, small gift card, thinking of you card, balloons, anything! Small things go a large distance.
• Say Cheese: Simple, smile. Not only does smiling benefit you in releasing the feel good chemical known as oxytocin (also released during hugs, kissing, sexual interaction, and more), but it makes others smile.

These are only a few ways that you can help someone struggling. Just like I said with the coping skills, these aren't guaranteed amazing results, but as everything in life is trial and error so is helping others.

Chapter 7: Seeking Help

Seeking help is scary, especially when you don't know what to seek help for, when you don't know what to say, when you don't know who to go to, who to trust. I get it, I was there at one point. One of the best decisions I ever made was getting help. I'm 20-years-old and I hit rock bottom and tried to take my own life at the age of 19-years-old. I'm so thankful and so appreciative of those who helped me get help.

To start off let me say this: getting help doesn't instantaneously mean medication or a hospital. I had similar fears when I struggled. Getting help can be as simple as going to a trusted friend or adult and talking to them about what's bugging you. It's even viable to go to a school counselor. For the younger audiences reading this, I want to inform you that they can't tell your parents unless you're a danger to yourself or someone else.

There are many phone numbers you can call to get support as well. There's even a phone number that you can text if you're uncomfortable texting. They don't ask for your name and it's anonymous on both ends. Below are some of the numbers to reach out to if you need:

Suicide Hotline: Call 1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours every day

Veterans Crisis Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

National Youth Crisis Hotline: 800-442-4673

It doesn't make you weak to reach out. It doesn't make you a coward either. It takes bravery and strength to admit you're struggling and trying to reach out. I struggled a lot for 2 years to reach out and when I finally did, I realized it was worth it.

Dear Reader,

Hello, my name is Patrick. I'm 20-years-old and suffer from BiPolar disorder and major depressive disorder alongside severe anxiety. I've struggled with depression since the age of about 8 due to family matters. I've hit the bottom numerous times and I've also struggled with substance abuse. I attempted to take my own life several times. I was chasing sunshine and only saw the rain. I did all I could to fill an empty space. It was almost too late, I almost succeeded but recently something clicked in my mind. I realized that I need to stop trying to please others and I need to focus on myself. The first step to fixing your issues is fixing yourself. You can't live a positive life style with a rain cloud. You can't support others unless you learn to support yourself.

Toxicity is a problem and I understand how vicious and terrible it can be when you're stuck in a loop that doesn't end. Whether it's family, a spouse, or even a person you consider a best friend, you need to walk away from them. You need to cut out anything that prevents you from being a better person. Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to be. Negative=Negative

Positive= Positive

Now that I've said that, let me say this: It gets better. It may not seem like it, but it does. There have been plenty of times in my past where I didn't believe it and I judged others for telling me it would pass. Those people were right. I can't guarantee that it will pass today, tomorrow, next week, or even this year; however, I can promise it gets better. Your past doesn't define you nor does your mental illness. It has as much power as you give it. It's hard to break free from, but I'm sure you can do it!

I also want to say, for those who are here reading this and struggle, have struggled, I'm proud of you. You're strong, brave, and greater than your issues. You've gotten this far and I'm glad you have. You're worth so much and make such a difference.

No matter how hard it gets don't give up. You all have purpose. You all have reason to be here.

Thank you for reading this.

Remember you're not alone.

Stay strong; sincerely,

PKYates

Stay strong, stay brave, and thrive-