Depression and Its Day

For someone who suffers from depression, or who has suffered from depression in the past, will know how different one day to the next can be. For example, for a person who hasn't suffered or experienced depression, they know they will experience different actions, activities and interact with different people throughout one day. But individuals with depression don't really know what they will experience or what will happen.

Although people who haven't experienced depression can still have quite an unexpected day. People with depression can experience multiple mood swings, actions and activities just in a couple of hours. So having these multiple mood swings every few hours can make the individual incredibly tired, anxiety, agitated or even just physically disturbed.

However, depression can come in many forms. It can be the result of having multiple mental health issues, be the result of grieving for losing a loved one, it can be the result of bullying over many of months or years.

The result of my depression would be the result of grieving over 4-5 family members after losing them, being bullied for 14-15 years and also not having a very good image and belief about my body. All of these I think are the cause of my depression. Sometimes I can have good days, however, sometimes I can have very bad days.

I am writing this to give some people some idea of what a good day is for an individual suffering from depression but also what a bad day involves for an individual who suffers from depression.

However, just because someone may seem happy on the outside doesn’t always mean that they are happy on the inside. Some people are very good at hiding their depression or even any feelings that they may have. Some people even find it hard to show dedicated feelings towards someone during a relationship because their emotions and depression can cause them to be that they aren't good enough for anyone or they are just a burden for everyone around them.

Therefore, to begin this section off, I will go through what is involved in one of my good days with coping with depression. It usually starts off with me spending 30 minutes to an hour in bed before getting up. Planning my day ahead, planning to keep myself busy so I can stop myself from getting into the habit of becoming depressed every day. Usually during good days, I am able to have conversations with other people, being able to watch television without either crying, getting agitated because of what is going on or actually laughing because I have actually listened to what has happened during the television programme. During a good day I am able to listen to others but also able to smile a lot more than I realize I am doing.

Although, here's to the bad days that people can experience whilst suffering from depression. My bad days consist of, not really showing any emotion, not talking, smiling, laughing. Not wanting to go anywhere or even leave my room. I will spend 24, maybe 36 hours in my room without seeing anyone else apart from my partner. However, this doesn't always involve me talking to him, although he sort of gathers when I am having a bad day because I can go off and stare into the distance without realizing, sometimes for more than five minutes. Some bad days can involve not drinking or eating very little during that day. Some of my bad days can also involve crying, shaking, my body can freeze. But also, my whole body can hurt, to the extent where some days I don't want get out of bed.

However, my depression hasn't got to the stage where I am thinking of suicide or contemplating what it may feel like to attempt suicide.