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Depression is a battle, one that some people do not win. It’s a very crippling mental illness. One minute, you’re sleeping non-stop. The next, you’re up all night and day with so many thoughts running through your mind. You either stop eating or you eat too much, too frequently. You begin to cry all the time. You start to push away loved ones because you feel as though they don’t understand. You wonder if the world would be better off without you. Some turn to alcohol and/or drugs to cope. Some people even resort to self-harm. Those who do not win the battle with depression think that taking their own life is the only way out. It’s not. It's the worst and most permanent way out.
I’ve never been diagnosed with depression, but I’ve lived most of my life knowing I have it. It’s a very tricky mental illness the way it always lingers but goes dormant at times. I’ve been through a lot in my life. I often wonder how I’m still here because depression has made me have feelings nobody should have. It makes you believe that nobody wants you around, that nobody would care if something bad happened to you. I have days where I am smiling and happy with friends. Then, I have days where I can’t get out of bed, except to use the bathroom. Back in grade school, I missed so much school just from being depressed. I’d almost never leave my room back then, much less my bed. I was content in my little room, with the lights off. I didn’t want to see anybody. I still have those days, at times. I have to force myself to get up, get out and to face the world.
There are many people out there who just don’t get it. They don’t understand what depression is or what it means. They believe you’re just sad and that you’ll get over it. Does anybody ever “get over” depression? It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain. The only way to come close to “getting over” depression is through medication and therapy. Sometimes that doesn’t always work, but sometimes it does. Just know that if you’re depressed, you’re not alone. You can get help before things get worse. There is somebody out there who loves you. There is somebody out there who would be crushed if something bad happened to you. There is somebody out there willing to listen to you. Whatever your mind tells you, you are not a burden. Things might be difficult right now, but they won't stay that way forever. I know it sounds cliche, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it isn't a train. It is possible to find happiness and joy again. Search deep inside yourself and locate what makes you happy. Is it writing? Is it reading a good book? Is it spending time with friends? Is it taking pictures? Is it a particular type of music that makes you happy? Is it that one special guy or girl in your life? Whatever it may be that makes you the tiniest bit happy, use that to work towards a long-term happiness. Depression is mostly long-term, however, that doesn't mean you have to let it control your life. There are far more reasons to smile than reasons to frown. As a matter of fact, it's been said that the more you smile, the happier you'll be. Always remember, you will get through this. Why? Because, my dear, you are a SURVIVOR!