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There is something about leaving a job or a club after knowing that the people there don't like you. It leaves me both angry and sad at the same time. When I ask for help people might show sympathy at first, but then get frustrated really quickly and insist that I simply just get over it.
This hasn't been a one-time occurrence; this has happened to me several times. My official guess is that I am often late, thus leaving a dedicated time to people talking poorly about me. So when I do get to work or school, I walk into a room of people who hate me. However, this has happened in a couple of cases where I wasn't late as well. Why? What is going on? Could it be my impulsive nature? Am I simply so shut out that people don't make the effort to get past my edgy exterior? Or worse... I'm simply a bad person?
I know I can't blame it all on my ADHD (SAIL!)... At a certain point I have to take some responsibility and I have to make some effort. I am just curious to why this seems to happen to me more than other people.
For the sake of defending myself, part of this is because of something called "Group Think" by William H. White. Group Think is basically a theory that helps explain why groups of people make terrible decisions. The theory doesn't always try to explain why people are immoral; however, the conversation brings up immoral behaviour occasionally as well.
A famous example of this is the case study of Kitty Genovese. However, I would have to warn you that her story can be quite disturbing. If you want to skip this part just simply scroll down until you see the bold words reading "Okay, you can start reading again." Kitty Genovese was murdered in 1964 near her home where over 31 people heard and saw the act without helping or even calling the cops. Kitty was stabbed repeatedly for over 20 minutes while calling for help... and no one helped her.
This dark but also very real event has left people who study behaviour stumped. All this proves is that people act in group decisions and apparently that people are naturally immoral.
I personally believe that people are less likely to help in groups. If there was only one person nearby that heard her screams... then they would have helped her. Just in the case that if I was only working with one person at work... I'm sure we would get along just fine.
Okay, you can start reading again.
Another example of people showing strong hate in groups is our natural and repetitive need to hate celebrities. Everyone loved Michael Jackson at one point, then we started to hate him. He was the butt of every joke on TV and in sitcoms... and to be completely honest I wanted to fit in so I hated him too. Later after he passed away, suddenly people seemed to love him again and I kept hearing his music on the radio, which I would really have rather not have. It was a bit outdated.
I think part of it is our need to belong to groups and I think part of it is our need to feel better about ourselves. More importantly, I think it's about people being cowards. People are too afraid to act or even make decisions on their own... so they do what everyone else is doing.
The problem I am trying to stress here is, why does it keep happening to me? As selfish as that may seem...
It happened to me when I was a student, it's happened to me at clubs, and now it's happening to me at work. Having it happen to me as a student is one thing, but now that I am an adult things need to change... because quite frankly I need to make money to pay rent and buy dog food.
I am going to leave this article with this. I am pretty sure there are three main reasons why people keep hating me in groups wherever I go.
- I'm ADHD and people recognize that I'm different.
- Since I have had bad experiences, I don't even try to make an effort anymore.
- People are just awful in general and I really shouldn't take it personally.