Don't Be Sad, 'Man'

Did you know 2 in 3 of the 51M adults in the UK have suffered issues in the form of panic attacks or depression? Did you know the biggest killer for males under 45 in the UK is suicide? Did you know that men are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than women? This country is facing an unprecedented mental health crisis and this gap of the unknown can be reduced simply with the gift of awareness.

Guys, I’m pretty sure that every once in a while we feel negative, we feel low, we feel as if everything that could possibly go wrong is happening all at once, but what happens from here is what determines our feelings and mental stability. Something that has always helped me in moments of dire need has been just sharing my problems with someone within my close network; it’s like the common quote that ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.

In the case of mental health and males, the middleman, the Satan, the evil eye can be noted as the act of suppression. As easy as it is to suppress the heart wrenching, soul destroying emotions that arise in our day to day lives, I have witnessed firsthand the effect that suppression has on one when attempting to be oblivious to our mental state. Suffering from anxiety, it was something that I believed to be embarrassing and peculiar which led to a major avoidance on the matter, thus leading to a complete seclusion from everything I enjoyed doing and took an interest in. As time went on it began to get worse and when others began to notice, I feared that it was judgement day, that I would be branded and shamed as being different. But what I started to realise eventually was, yes I am different, yes I do suffer from mental health issues, but that is what makes me a survivor, that is what makes me a man.

Another form of poison is societies’ imaginary scale of masculinity which all men seemed to be scored against by others on a day to day basis. Having people present in our lives who tell us how men should act, how men should compose themselves and how men should deal with their emotions, will only ever increase the numbers of men suffering with severe mental health issues. You are a man when you have the ability to be true to your emotions, you are a man when you are not afraid to tell others of your current state of mind, you are a man when you have eliminated the fear of what other men may think about you.

If I had a pound for every time I have heard people say “being a guy is easy, there are no worries”, well, I beg to differ. Being a guy in this day and age where you are seen as timid and effeminate for feeling sad, where you are seen as weak for crying, where you are made to feel guilty for feeling withdrawn and lonely is a world which is forcing men to do the inevitable. As days go by, more male celebrities are speaking out about their battles with mental health issues, but what we need to realise as men is that it shouldn’t take celebrities speaking out in order for us to realise our self worth and accept ourselves for who we are.

Every single one of you out there, whoever may be reading this, has support available to them. You are not alone, you never will be, because believe it or not, there are millions of individuals who are going through or have gone through what you are experiencing right now. Your life means something, your mental state means something, you mean something, so take as much as you want from this but I implore you to stand up, speak to others, don’t be afraid to seek help, and unbind yourself from gender, instead focusing on being human.

To feel depressed, to feel alone, to feel sadness, to feel guilt are all human traits and if anyone wants to judge you upon being human then more fool them.