Drowning Out of Water

Living with depression can be literal hell. You lose motivation to get out of bed, to eat, and to even shower. For some of us it's a sense of drowning while being able to breathe. Depression comes in waves; some days the water is calm and relaxing but the next it can be a 2 week long hurricane of emotions. Some days we don't shower, brush our teeth, or even get out of our pjs. It can even get as severe as not grocery shopping, paying bills, or calling into work/school.

No one in my life really knew about what I was struggling with and I was too young to put my thoughts into the proper words. It took me developing a pill addiction, eating disorder, and lengthy years of self harm to finally seek the help I needed. No one expects their kids to be trapped in such a dark place that they would rather self destruct than find help. My parents were unaware of my habits until a teacher caught me harming myself in the bathroom at school instead of going outside for recess. Having that conversation with my parents was one of the hardest things I had to do.

They got me in to my family doctor where I was referred to a psychiatrist and counselor. I was given anti depressants and biweekly appointments with my counselor. Things started to look up until the side effects of my meds started increasing.

For those who don't know, the warning on anti depressants "may cause suicidal thoughts" is really only for people who were already suicidal. How anti depressants work is the boost chemicals in your brain to give you the energy and ability to do everyday tasks. For someone who had previously had suicidal thoughts prior to medications, it may give that energy to those thoughts. I had to be taken off my medicine after a few short months because I was leading into more self destructive habits such as smoking cigarettes, drinking my parent's alcohol, and started stealing from stores.

Mental illnesses are not a force to be reckoned with and need to be monitored. I was lucky to have a mom and step dad who took the time to actually get me help, take me to appointments, and do whatever they could to help me. As a daughter, I fear I failed them becoming the family basket case. They have struggled to help my illness for the past 8 years but I know they can only do so much. Once I was finished highschool, graduating with a lot of granted "passing" grades, I knew I needed to take my mental health into my own hands.

My depression had impacted my life to the point I was failing classes, couldn't keep a steady job, and was cutting off contact with everyone. I had no friends, no money, and was damaging my future. I needed to find someway to manage to mental wellbeing and gain control back. I tried medications, natural remedies, and supplements. Prescriptions didn't work in my favour unfortunately so I had to get creative! Here's a list of simple activities I do on a daily basis to manage my depression!

1. Journaling!

Classic therapy for anyone with a mental illness. It may not be a real person to talk to but even getting the thoughts out if your head can lift some weight off your shoulders!

2. Diet and Exercise!

Eating healthy and being physically active on the days we can help balance out the days we can't move! Eat lots of fruits and veggies to get your vitamins! There are plenty of apps to help you keep on track of what you are eating and how much exercise you are getting every day! My favourite is My Fitness Pal! It even tracks how much you walk in a day by using your GPS!

3. Seek medical help!

Meds can literally save your life! Do not hesitate to try something a professional suggests! If it doesn't work for you, try other methods!

4. Get outside!

Sunshine is scientifically proven to boost your mood! Enjoy what sunshine you can get whenever you can!

5. Try out a new hobby!

Want to get creative and make wooden signs? Do it! Want to collect stamps or baseball cards? Do it!! Want to pick up a new skill such as karate? DO IT!! Distractions are amazing and motivating! You can even get adult colouring books now! They are my favourite thing to do when I get downtime!

6. Get a pet!

Animals provide love and also an ear that can listen without judgement! To this day I will go vent to my cat about how long my day at work was and get my daily cuddles!

7. Essential Oils!

No they will not cure you, but they can help ease your mind. Lavender is my go-to for when I get restless. It has a calming effect and can help you sleep. On the nights I struggle with keeping my thoughts at bay I will coat my collar bone, wrists, and jawline in lavender to put myself to sleep. For days I need extra energy, I add lemon essential oil to my water and dab peppermint oil on my collarbone. *Please be careful with essential oils since a lot of brands cannot be digested. Be aware of what brands you are using and what containers you have them stored in.* I stick to the brand Doterra since I can easily look and see what is inside my oils and which ones are safe to ingest. They also have creams for sore muscles, chewing gum to boost metabolism, and whitening tooth paste all made with their oils.

8. Try the Calm Harm app.

It is geared towards people who have a self harm history but it is a blessing to anyone who struggles with mental illnesses. I believe it is available on both iPhones and Androids, I am unaware about other brands.

9. Drink your water!!

I know I mentioned diet and exercise but hydration is it's own thing! Keeping enough *healthy* fluids in your body throughout the day can greatly effect your mental well being. When we are dehydrated, our brains and body don't function properly. Drinking water with lemon and other fruits can help detox your organs and also brighten your mood.

10. Have an accountability chart!

I use a white board that I drew a chart in permanent marker and check off what I did with a dry erase marker. I have simple things on there such as "brushed my teeth," "shower," and "ate 3 meals." I also have harder ones like "work out," "clean the house," and "talked to one friend." This not only made me feel more accountable for keeping daily tasks on track, but it helps me see what gets effected on my bad days.

These are just a few things I do to keep my depression from derailing my life again! I hope this can help at least one person! Please remember that you can get control back at any point in your life!