Empathy and How It Can Kill You

Hey, so I'm an empath living in a very emotional household and I realised something just recently.

Whenever I have trouble with my own body, mind and spirit, it's usually to do with other people's issues and drama that I have absorbed.

Most empaths will know what I'm talking about; you talk to someone and they feel a certain way and you kind of absorb it and then that happens again and again and again and somewhere along the line, you feel absolutely spent and you have to stop being around anyone for a while to recharge, even when you want to hang out with people.

Sometimes it feels like a cold? Like when your head is cloudy and your glands are a little swollen and your body is really heavy?

The internet came to the conclusive term "Empath Sickness" or "Empath Illness" for the condition and IT SUCKS.

So why is that so dangerous?

Well, if you're me, then you are currently living in your mother's lounge (long story) and you never get any time to yourself, you find that all of this residue energy that you catch from all those little interactions.

It's even worse when you live in a household that doesn't function well together, where the members don't like their jobs or their lives and when they don't like each other, this build-up can happen faster and it's all negative vibes. Like ALL OF IT.

This is also the same for empaths in jobs that they hate, in multiple jobs where they don't get time to themselves, customer service positions, etc.

It can build up to the point where you can't take it anymore but you can't actually do anything about it, so you don't take that time to recharge and it festers in your body.

I'm both an introvert and an empath, which makes this twice as bad but it can lead to things like colds, cases of flu, fever, chronic fatigue, anxiety, and depression and THAT IS DANGEROUS.

Left for too long, these symptoms can make you ACTUALLY CRAZY.

A lot of my personal mental health disorders are in direct response to my empathic traits and have always been a part of me. As a child, I didn't know how to cope so I isolated myself from others to try and help. During my teen years, I tried to internalise the feelings and it just made me suicidal.

I'm currently trying to undo that damage.

But it's so dangerous for empaths to end up in that position and in a world that doesn't give you the time to recharge, you are only left with that option.

But, despite the doom and gloom I just spewed, it's possible to avoid this.

So, how do we fix this?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

There are a few things that you can do in order to help with the energy residue, with strengthening your defences against other people's emotions and energy and with generally just feeling a bit better about everything.

Use your breaks wisely.

Breaks are for just that; taking a break from all of the things that you've been doing for 5 minutes and chill out. And that's exactly what you need to do. Disappearing during your lunch break or popping to the toilet during a family dinner is perfectly fine, just to get your bearings.

No one will get annoyed at you for taking 5 minutes to get yourself together.

This actually links into my next point...

Practise building energy barriers.

So, meditation is considered to be the height of all zen, but it's actually useful for things other than being "one with the universe" or whatever. By learning how to create emotional boundaries and barriers against other people's vibes, you can save yourself from a lot of the major symptoms that come with "system overload." There's actually a lot of material on this so I'm just going to put some links below for reference on how to do this:

I feel your pain: an empath’s guide to staying balanced

Coping With Sensitivity and Empathic Gifts

3 Things Every Empath Should Do

Empath Sickness

Now, this link is arguing that by shielding, you use up more energy than it would to just balance things out, which leads me on to my last point...

Let It Gooooooo~ Let It Goooooo~

Using energy shields are all well and good but, much like mental illnesses, if you don't deal with the underlying problem, you'll never be rid of the issue. Learning to balance your energies (converting one type of energy into another) or alternatively let go of other people's energy by focusing on what you are actually feeling can be the one thing that might remove the issue of "Empath Sickness" entirely.

Using the emotional residue from others to fuel your own needs is definitely out-of-character for an empath (it's much the reason why "Empath Sickness" even exists) but it's a discomfort that definitely helps in the long run.

Mindfulness is a good way to start this process, focusing on what is happening in the present moment with your body and using this awareness of the present to reduce the stress of emotional residue in the mind.

Techniques from Yoga, Tai Chi, and other spiritual and energy-based activities will also be incredibly helpful in this process.

It's All You, Man...

A lot of this practice is going to have to come from within yourself. In order to balance the energy in yourself, you have to know yourself well. I nor anyone else can teach you about yourself like you can.

Get comfortable with yourself, forgive yourself for your flaws, and start sorting out what's yours from what's other people's.

I've had to start doing this since I moved back to my mum's house and it's doing wonders for my spirit. I never realised how many of my emotions weren't my own until I started using meditations as a way of "internally organising" and it's forced me to evaluate a lot of my opinions and emotions.

Further Reading

BeMindful

Getting Started with Mindfulness

Chakra-Balancing Yoga Sequence

Tai Chi Chuan Method Of Breathing And Chi Direction

Are You a Physical Empath?

How to Stop Absorbing Other People’s Stress: 9 Strategies for Empaths.