Existential Psychology and You

You wake up early, drink coffee, sit in traffic, muddle through the work day, sit in more traffic, go to sleep, and start it all over again tomorrow. If your life sounds anything like this, or even if you have a different tiresome routine, the question "what is this all for?" has probably crossed your mind once or twice. According to existential psychologists, finding meaning in life is the purpose of humanity and a lack of meaning is the source of anxiety and depression. However, as the basis of countless books, plays, and movies, this topic has been romanticized and dramatized so thoroughly that finding meaning has become a grail quest in its own right. Fortunately, you don’t have to drop everything and go on a soul searching adventure to find a purpose for living. It is very possible to find meaning and purpose in the life you are currently living. Here are some of the techniques of existential theory that will start you on the path to purpose and open your eyes to all the beautiful and wonderful relationships and settings your daily life takes you through.

Appreciate Those Fleeting Moments of Beauty

In case no one has told you before, life sucks. It is full of suffering and sadness. But this reality makes those sweet moments of peace so much more beautiful. Next time you are sitting in traffic on your way home, look up and watch the sun setting. Even as you sit in a miserable and frustrating line of cars, you can take the time to appreciate that nature continues on unchanged. The sun sets and rises, traveling on the same path every day, just like you. It is predictable and dependable, nature doesn’t mind routine and it finds balance in structure and form. If you keep an eye out for these beautiful and pure moments—the sunset, a baby’s laughter, the soft fur of a beloved pet, or the warm embrace of a loved one—you will find that they happen more often than you expect. If you want more than these little touches of beauty, then go looking for them. Take a walk after dinner to observe nature, visit grandchildren or neighbors, or spend some time with a pet. You can make an effort to make those fleeting moments last but appreciate them for what they are and for the temporary nature that they have.

Find Your Joy

Take some time to think about what really makes you happy. Is it a hobby, a relationship, an event? Is it in the natural world or in the material world? Is it something you used to be interested in but gave up for lack of time? Reflect over these questions and hold them in your mind. A picture should start to form about all the things that make you really happy. It might take time to fill in the whole picture and realize what joy means to you in your life. Once you know, then you can start to integrate it back into your life and find new ways to feel like you are purposely pursuing your joy.

Find Fulfillment Through Selflessness

One way to add meaning to your life is to feel fulfilled and helpful. This can come in many forms. If you take a look at your life, you might find that there are those who already depend on you for support and comfort. You may already be taking care of another individual, or even a pet, and not appreciating the meaning that brings to you. If you are a care taker for another life, you are doing something amazing and wonderful for that life and this world. Take the time to appreciate that connection and purpose, use it to find your fulfillment. For those who are not already, or no longer, supporting another, volunteering can be a good option. Use your joy to influence this decision. If animals make you happy then try volunteering at a shelter, if you value the education of children then becoming a tutor or mentor to a child in need could fuel your fulfillment. If technology is more your speed, then volunteering with senior technology tutoring or giving free IT support to a local community center might be the route you choose. Even spending one hour a week doing something for another can boost your sense of fulfillment and give you some direction and purpose.

Make Your Own Rules

Life is for living. Don’t let society put you into a box and flood you with meaningless and harmful labels. If you allow yourself to live your life based on the opinions of others, then you have already lost. Making meaning is about walking your own path and trusting your intuition. That doesn’t mean you need to buck the system and live as a hermit in the woods. This means that you can continue going to work and doing all the practical things necessary for life in the modern world, but you can do it in your own way and for yourself. You don’t have to laugh at the sexist jokes at the water bubbler at work when they really make your blood boil. You don’t have to wear the same boring colors to work and sit in a sterile cube only surrounded by family photos and the occasional plant. You don’t even have to have an office job. Do what makes you happy and the rest will follow. Embrace who you are and don’t be afraid to let that shine. Live by your own rules and create an environment that makes you happy.

Existential therapy is very client driven, it is all about how you find happiness. You have built this life for yourself, you just need to take a step back and appreciate everything you have accomplished. Don’t let society and the exhaustion of life force you into numbness. Your life is already amazing in so many ways. You should feel proud for all of the things that you have accomplished and all of the people that you have touched in this life. Hopefully, these tips will allow you to see a little clearer and guide you further along the path to meaning. And if you ever need help in this journey, seeing a therapist can be a great way to gain some clarity and insight.