Feeling Lost

Everyone I have encountered with in my whole life has felt lost in some way. Whether it be financially, academically, emotionally, etc. It’s a sucky feeling, but it’s bound to happen. If you’re feeling lost, or ever have, just know you’re not alone. I too have felt lost MANY times.

For starters, my first year of college. I never really thought of what I wanted to do with my life. My last year of high school I decided I wanted to be a Pediatric Nurse, for the money. A big mistake! The passion was nonexistent when it came to nursing for me. I ended up dropping out my second semester due to personal reasons, but on top of that I had no drive. I barley did my homework or showed up for the nursing related classes. However the class I ALWAYS showed up to was English. I always had an undying love for anything English related. Reading, writing, even the history to it. Fast forward to my life now, I have found what I wanted to major in, English. I know many people struggle with the same thing I did- finding their major. If it doesn’t make your eyes huge & smile ridiculously while telling people your future, it isn’t for you.

Financially lost? I’ve felt that too, still do. Juggling school & a three year old with autism doesn’t give me much time to work. Let’s not forget I’m the worst at saving money, even when I have it. If you too are struggling financially, just keep working your ass off. It will eventually pay off and you won’t ever have to worry about money again. Until then don’t be afraid to ask for help. Let your pride go.

I still feel lost time to time, but never as bad as I was. I was in a real low place for quite some time. I suffered from postpartum, went through the loss of an unborn baby, dropped out of school, and things just kept getting worse. I thought this was the end of my life. I already felt dead inside. Being a mother was the only thing keeping me from completely losing my shit. Since I had a little one watching me, I never gave up. As bad as I might’ve steered off tracks some times, I would come home to my little one and realize it’s not about me. I got a part time job to hold us up for a bit, it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t doing what I thought it would for me. I made new friends and went out more to see if that would help any. It didn’t. About 5-6 months ago I had finally gotten out of this rut. I’m now a full time student & mother. My son is enrolled in preschool and learning so much! I have the best fiancé, a few close irreplaceable friends, and support from everyone around me. Don’t get me wrong life isn’t perfect for me, and I’m not exactly where I want to be. However I am happy and I at least KNOW what I want. Progress baby!

I hope hearing my story helps you in some way. Anything lost can be found! Such a cliche quote, but it’s the truth. Whatever your beliefs are; go towards them and ask for answers. You will find them. Reach out to the things you’ve always wondered about/interested in. Take that chance. Life is seriously so slow, and I can’t stress that statement enough. Screw what society/family/friends tell you. Quit worrying about where you will be tomorrow, worry about NOW. You will end up doing what you were made to do if you follow your heart. If you were looking for a sign, HERE IT IS!