How Kickboxing Changed My Life

I have struggled with anxiety and mild depression for as long as I can remember. As a teenager, I thought (or rather hoped) it was just a phase, but there comes a point where you have to admit to yourself something is not quite right. You worry too easily and too much, you have a lack of motivation, you get obsessions and paranoid thoughts, cannot control negative thinking, and you can no longer justify it as you being a kid. Because frankly, you're not a kid anymore. So what do you do about it?

For me, acting and writing used to be a fantastic outlet. I would lose myself in imaginary worlds and that kept me sane in the real one. Acting and writing still do that for me, but as they are also my profession now, the whole thing is a bit more complicated.

Nine months ago, I found the answer to my problem; I needed to find an activity that was completely separate from my profession and which would give me some sort of purpose and a sense of achievement for when I couldn't get that in any other areas of my life. So I went to a free trial Kickboxing class and my life changed forever.

It was no news to me that exercise boosts your mood. I have yet to meet a therapist who doesn't recommend it. But how can you find the motivation to go to the gym when you can barely roll yourself out of bed or when you are a step away from a panic attack? If I had saved the money I've spent on gym memberships I never used, I'd be about £500 richer than I am now.

So it's no surprise that when my free class finished and I was told that the only means to continue would be to purchase a membership with the club, I was a bit reluctant. I had absolutely loved the class and I was feeling so pumped and happy, but I could not ignore the possibility that getting a year-long membership with monthly payments well above £50 would only add to the list of things to feel worried and stressed about. I went home and thought about it long and hard. It just felt right.

I am forever grateful for the moment that I signed up. I'll never know if it was an impulsive decision or a moment of inner strength where my heart overtook my worrying brain. All that matters is that it was definitely the right decision. You see, what Kickboxing and other martial arts offer is not just the mood-enhancing benefits of exercise. They offer a sense of community and the chance to develop a fitness skill as well as a life skill. Learning new techniques, progressing and moving up the grades gives a sense of achievement that would be much more difficult to get by training alone at the gym. And since there is a membership and a contract, there's that extra bit of motivation to not give up.

I am not going to pretend that Kickboxing has completely cured my mental issues. That would be counterproductive. What I can say is that Kickboxing has given me a tool to release stress as well as fear and to keep myself sane while I try to achieve so many other things in my life.

Every time I finish a class, I honestly feel that I can take on the world. I feel as if nothing can scare me and nothing can hurt me. That's why if I know I might receive work-related bad news one day, I always make sure I go Kickboxing before I open my emails. If it turns out to be good news, I usually start skipping on my way back home and if it is indeed bad news, I barely seem to care. After all, time only runs forwards.