Psyche logo

How To Love When Your Anxiety Hates You

The Difficulties of Loving Someone with Anxiety

By Caitlin SullivanPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
Like

Anxiety is an ever present force in many lives, including my own. It’s a shadow around every corner waiting to pop out and a whisper in your ear that you can’t help but hear. Love however is something completely different. It’s a bright light in your life that fills you with warmth and good feelings. So how are you supposed to let go of your insecurities in yourself and your mental health to give yourself fully to someone else?

Anxiety leads you to believe you are damaged and imperfect and not worthy of love. It causes you to isolate yourself and build up walls to keep you safe. Dating with these walls up can be very difficult for you and for the other party involved. Trust does not come easy with anxiety. This applies to relationships and friendships alike. Trust means opening up and opening up means you can get hurt. With anxiety you are sure that no matter what you are going to get hurt.

Because of this starting a relationship is hard and super stressful. Letting people in goes against everything your brain tells you to do. Love and friendship come slowly for anxiety sufferers. This can become frustrating for both parties in the beginning.

Sharing even small facts about yourself can feel like pulling teeth. Your anxiety is constantly there, telling you to run or be quiet. Small talk is virtually impossible with strangers. Your brain constantly tells you that no matter what you say people will think you are stupid or laugh at you. Your anxiety consistently tells you you’re going to make a fool out of yourself.

It can take months for you to feel truly at ease and trusting around other people and it is a constant struggle that anxiety sufferers have to overcome. Even after an extended period time dating someone you can still have moments where you inexplicably feel the need to close yourself off.

The most important thing I have found from this is that once you trust someone you need to keep an open line of communication. This can be a very hard and scary thing to do but it can truly save a relationship. You have to be honest about yourself and your anxiety. In most cases you’ll have to walk the other person through your anxiety to help them understand but once you do the two of you can begin to grow together.

Once they understand what you go through you can lean on them in moments when you need it. Having someone you trust and love by your side during an anxiety attack can be a savior. Anxiety attacks make you feel lower than you ever thought possible and lonelier than you could ever fathom. Having a loving force there for you, even if that person is just talking to you and trying to distract you can really help you break free from the attack.

Nothing can cure you of your anxiety, but having a support system that you truly trust by your side can make the dark days a little easier while making the good days even better. As long as you keep yourself open to your partner and let them know how you’re feeling, the two of you can continue to grow together.

Building a relationship with anxiety can be a daunting and terrifying task that can take a very long time to forge and fully give yourself over to. But once you let go and let yourself love and be loved, you’ll realize how much easier things can be with someone else on your side and realize that your anxiety is wrong. You are lovable and valuable and deserve all the happiness your partner gives you.

anxiety
Like

About the Creator

Caitlin Sullivan

A girl here to write about everything that comes to mind. Nothing is off limits and it all comes from the heart.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.