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How To Tell Your Parents You Are Depressed & Seek Help

When you're feeling depressed, it's hard to overcome a lot of the associated fears. Here's some tips and advice to help you tell your parents you are depressed.

By Brian McCannPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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Photo by Nikko Macaspac on Unsplash

The reality is simple. Depression is a silent killer. You're worried all the time, and it makes some of the easiest choices seem impossible. When you're dealing with depression, talking to your parents may be the last thing on your mind. However, they want to know so they can help. When considering whether or not to tell your parents you are depressed, you should remember that they have your best interest in mind. Talking about your feelings will prove helpful in the battle against your negative feelings.

Talk to someone.

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Even the thought of telling your parents you are depressed might be too much. Therefore, you should try to talk to someone about it, including: your friends, your aunt, your neighbor, another adult, or even your dog.

Expressing your feelings vocally should ease the anxiety you have associated with talking to your parents. Ultimately, your goal is to work up to being comfortable talking about your mental health issues openly and honestly. This isn't easy, but telling someone means that you're making major progress.

Talk to a professional.

For some reason, there's a stigma attached to therapy. Consider this: What if your leg was broken? Would you expect to heal without any help or rehab? No, of course not. There's doctors, physical therapists, trainers, coaches, and tons of professionals to help with that process.

So why do we treat mental health issues differently?

There's likely plenty of local help in your community, including mental health professionals. For example, you could start by talking to your school counselor. They are trained to help you and connect you with services that can ease the pain of feeling depressed.

If that's difficult to overcome, consider talking to someone else at your school like a teacher, coach, or other staff member.

Write a letter.

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Telling your parents about your depression isn't the same as talking to your parents about depression. Sometimes it's easier to write down everything you're feeling. Besides, you'll have the opportunity to think about what you want to say and how to say it by using pen and paper.

To start, you need to try not to worry about sounding any particular way. Just put the words on the page, there's no correct way to tell someone how you're struggling.

Second, write the letter as if you were never planning on giving it to your parents. The writing process itself should help you figure out what to say and how to explain it to anyone, including yourself.

Pick a time.

Sometimes putting a goal on the calendar can help. It's like trying to get ready for a big game, a vacation, or something you're looking forward to.

Consider telling your parents you're depressed like successfully preparing for an exam, and not one that you pass by somehow cramming everything in the night before.

Instead, start learning the material piece by piece.

If you set your parent talk time for the end of the week, you can think about what you might want to say every day.

For example, you could spend the first day crafting your opening sentence. Then, you could talk about how long you've felt this way, and why you're telling them now.

Again, there's no perfect way to telling your parents you're depressed, but you cannot let it own you. Making an event our of telling your parents about your fight, as well as planning for it, might help alleviate some anxiety about sharing your feelings.

Tell the big picture.

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Getting over depression doesn't happen because you tell your parents. It's a step in a series of actions to hopefully get you feeling better.

The first conversation is going to be emotional for everyone. There's no need to spend time getting down about what you might view with shame, regret, or sorrow.

Speak generally and give them the opportunity to ask any questions they may have. This should help create a natural, easy-going dialogue.

Be open to their feedback.

When you tell anyone anything, it's human nature to react. This is the art of conversation and human interaction. Most importantly, your parents have your best interest at heart. The conversation will be enlightening to them, and hopefully for you, too.

With the number of people experiencing depression on the rise, it's likely they know someone who's struggled with depression. Therefore, listen to their advice and thoughts with openness.

Who knows? Maybe you'll learn that depression runs in your family. Even before you tell your parents you struggle with depression, you should realize that it's more common than you think.

Think about your audience.

Everyone is different, especially your parents.

Depending on your parents' age, upbringing, and personal experience, they might have different thoughts and opinions on depression compared to you or anyone else you've talked to. Therefore, you'll have to come to the table prepared to discuss potential feelings and questions they might have.

For example, if your parents are the data-driven type, bring some facts and figures about depression.

If your parents ask you a question you don't know the answer to, then it's totally okay to say, "I'm not sure, but I can found out," or, "I don't know. Let me look into it."

You're all looking for answers, and it will be a team effort to find them in order to move forward.

Feel how you feel.

If you're feeling sad or angry about depression, then let it out. This is a time to share and be vulnerable. You are allowed to have depression without shame.

The best thing you can do is understand how you feel. Accept that you might cry, scream, or loose your breath. Thinking about how you might react should better prepare you for when you react that way. It may even help prevent the worst of it.

Practice, Practice, and Practice.

You can write a letter, tell a friend, and tell an adult. Those will all help make it easier to tell you parents you're depressed. Once you start talking about it, keep talking about it.

By keeping a dialogue open with the people you tell (even if it's just your journal), you're going to get better at expressing yourself.

If you've never told anyone before, don't expect to be the Lebron James of talking about depression. Just remember, you have to start somewhere. Try starting where you feel the most comfortable and work up from there to telling your parents.

There's no right way to say it.

If there was a formula or script, I would point you there and it would be as simple as that. Unfortunately, dealing with depression is complex.

By trying some of the methods above, you might start to realize there is a better way to say it, and hopefully it becomes easier each time you do.

Just know though that there's no magic spell or hidden method to solving your mental health issues.

Feeling better is a process. By reading this article, you're already making positive progress towards dealing with depression. Hopefully, telling your parents you're depressed won't seem so difficult now.

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About the Creator

Brian McCann

Tim Ferriss junkie that's also addicted to wine and professional wrestling.

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