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I Can't Do It

The Difference Between Anxiety and Self Doubt

By Eleni PagePublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Whether it's something small or large, sufferers of anxiety can easily feel overwhelmed. The truth is, whether it's small or not, it can feel like the end of the world in that moment to that person.

Sometime last year I was dating someone who didn't understand the feeling of being unable to move or function in the situation of an anxiety attack. I would tell him that I couldn't do it, and he would tell me that I could, and to just do it. And in those moments, while he was probably trying to be a nice person, it didn't help in the slightest.

My issue was not that I didn't think I could do it, I had done it many times before with other people, and I had seen many people do it themselves, with ease, with no issues. Giving me faith that I could do it wasn't going to help me, because anxiety isn't the same as self doubt.

  • Self doubt is the lack of confidence in oneself and one's abilities.
  • Anxiety is the crippling fear of the unknown. My rational mind would be telling me exactly how easy it would be, my irrational mind would be telling me that I would not be okay.

On this occasion, the task which I could not do was getting a taxi.

My body, faced with the simple task of going up to a taxi, and asking to go to my desired destination, had entered fight or flight. All I wanted to do was flee. And this person who I was dating, on the other side of the phone, was telling me that I could do it.

Of course I could do it, but every inch of my being wanted to turn in the other direction. Why was this? Why was I unable to complete this simple task, but I was perfectly capable of abseiling down a rock wall?

This quickly turned into self loathing.

What I needed in that moment, when I said 'I can't do it,' was to be told, 'that's okay.' Because being told that I could, only further established my theory that I was being pathetic. Because battling with myself over something perceived as tiny only further increased the severity of my anxiety attack.

I've come to learn that sometimes we just need to rest, some days I've been unable to do things, and I've gone back the next day and done amazingly without worrying at all. There's nothing worse than beating yourself up about not feeling up for something, as this can just make matters worse. While it is possible to just jump in, and you can often feel much better afterwards; if you're feeling like there's no way that you can possibly do something, that's okay, don't let yourself feel bad about it no matter how simple the task may seem.

Self doubt is not the same as anxiety, and while you absolutely can do anything you put your mind to, you don't have to do it today.

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