If the First Step Doesn't Get You

I did it! As you may have seen, I started my new blog. Yesterday was a great day! It feels wonderful to deal with the onslaught of anxiety symptoms and defeat it by starting something new and challenging. Words seem to flow through my fingertips like water cascading down the mighty Mississippi River. My thoughts were coming from the heart, my intent of possibly helping others filled me with the passion that I often preach about but never seem to perform. Most importantly, I started a journal that will assist me further in accomplishing my ultimate goals. Daily writing to help myself cope with the emotions, thoughts, and feelings that continually swirl inside my head. To add to an already rewarding day, I also participated in some courses on YouTube so I can possibly put a face to some of my writings and speak to people, in a raw personal level, about my daily struggles and how I deal with the challenges that bombard me throughout the day. Then, of course, just like any other day, it ends, and the next day comes.

Just about anyone would be overjoyed with accomplishments like that, even myself. However, day two is waking up to thoughts about my blog. First, it starts with that negative internal narrative asking you questions. Why didn't you put more content into your first post? Why did you go with that picture? Then it automatically goes into the negative beatdown. You have been published for 15 hours now and only one person viewed your post, and it was you! Nobody wants to read about you, and your wishy-washy life, and how you have to deal with it. You haven't given up yet? You might as well quit now because you know you are going to eventually. Do you think you have problems? There are people out there that suffer far worse than you, so pull up your big boy pants and deal with it! Then, it keeps swirling nonstop and before you know it, you are stuck on something insignificant that happened 22 years ago that has nothing to do with the initial thought that started everything.

I guess the question now would be, how do I cope with that wall of emotions mixed with random thoughts that are entirely negative? Before I go any further, I do need to make a statement. I feel that I have a moral obligation to inform everyone that reads my posts that I do not have any formal medical training in any way, shape, or form. I am giving advice based on the daily challenges that I personally face, from a general anxiety disorder, each and every day in hopes that someone, somewhere, can use any of what I offer to positively help themselves in any way possible. That right there is my mission statement; something that keeps me focused at all times on what I am actually trying to accomplish.

Back to the question. How did I cope this morning? Each day is different, sometimes different techniques have to be done randomly depending on what your mind is giving you. That is why this question is extremely vague. It might only take one of my tricks to combat the feeling, or it could possibly take every piece of arsenal I have to deal with one issue. However, this morning was simple but to me, extremely important. It is my faith in God. I know I may have potentially lost some people after mentioning anything about religion. Somehow, any kind of religion has had a negative outlook recently. But not to get lost into an entirely different subject. I feel that it is your faith, whatever faith it may be, is what gets you through tough struggles in your life. If your faith is getting up and praising the works of Tom Cruise, maybe a tree you planted as a child, or if it is what makes you feel secure and safe from internal negative thoughts, then do it! I bow my head and I pray to a God that I was raised on believing that he has a plan for me, and sometimes it is just a simple prayer that helps me write another post. I'm not going to push religion onto you. However, I am going to challenge you to find that go to place or object and simply meditate knowing that you are safe and secure because you are with something that you love wholeheartedly. Mine is God, what's yours?