Inner Battles

Society has been programmed to believe in good and bad. This doesn’t pose a problem, until you realize that most people believe that asking forgiveness will excuse the demons they possess. It’s rumored that demons exist in dark matter (Dark energy, Quantum Physics. The majority of this reality is made of dark matter, meaning that dark spirits can be anywhere. Our brain is even composed with dark matter (Dark Matter of the Brain)). So who’s to say that we all don’t have demons within us? People have different ways to feed their demons, addiction being the most prominent. It’s as if gluttony is the only way to satisfy our inner demon's hunger pangs.

What is the purpose of this demon? I would argue that it’s meant to give us strength. It works on a reward system. We can distinguish good from bad, because of this demon. We all make mistakes, some we repeat, some we discontinue. The problem with forgiveness is that we can use it to run from our demons. Instead of standing up to face our demons, we feed them so they stick around. This devalues our experiences in this reality. We find methods to distract us from our demons, and for me it was drugs;

I used to hang around a very grimy apartment when I was 17. There was a dark energy to the place. Whether it was from too many bad occurrences taking place previously or it was just our mind-frame, I can’t tell. I was dropped off after work one night by my mother. As we pulled up to the building, she said “I hope you aren’t hanging around J— C—‘s place. He’s had a history with the law, and this place is a cesspool.” Funny enough, this was my friend's father's name, and it was his place exactly that I was going to. This confirmed that bad things must have happened before.

It was a dirty vacant apartment that we called our own. We would get extremely high and drunk with, or without, people. Our first night in the place was a nightmare. My friend took too much ecstasy. He became extremely frightened of the paintings. He claimed they were demonic. Then he must have left his body, because every few minutes he would shriek out loud. This went on for hours. He would let out a high pitched wail, as if he was in pain. He could barely speak at all and, when he could, he would mumble about seeing demons. I missed work at 6 AM, because I was babying him to sleep. He vaguely remembers the event, but I do have a video of the sound he was making. He laughed it off, but I was freaked out the whole time. The scariest part of the night for me happened when I put him in the shower. I left for about ten minutes and all of a sudden I heard shrieking from the bathroom. My buddy was huddled into the corner of the shower in complete fear. I turned the shower off and dressed him. I’ve never seen anything of this sort since.

Something similar happened to me in that apartment. Funny enough though, I don’t remember a thing. I did a large amount of our usual combo; alcohol and ecstasy. Like usual, I blacked out. I was told about my experience the next morning by my two friends. The friend that I watched become possessed told me that he saw the same in me. Apparently I began crying. I was angry and sad at the same time. I was going on and on about how demons were after me. I was frightened so much that it brought me to tears. I guess this went on until I drank myself under. I have no idea what really happened that night and I probably never will.

It is important to fight your demons. Much like the purpose of dark matter; they can consume you. In a world where we are conditioned to disconnect, it seems impossible to fight your demons. Search for positive souls, instead of searching for the food your demon prefers. Fight the food fight. Connect to this world and don’t run from reality. Where there is darkness, there is light. For your own sake, forget and don’t forgive your demons!

“And many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt” (Dan. 12:2).

– Daniel 12:1–2

(Duality of Man)