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It's All in Your Head!

The things doctors often say!

By Alyse McDonaldPublished 6 years ago 10 min read
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I read an article today about a girl who had cancer! While I read it, I felt sadness, frustration and ANGER!! I also she'd a few tears.

I am appalled and furious that she was not taken seriously! We as humans KNOW our own bodies; we KNOW when something doesn't feel right; we KNOW when something is wrong.

I wrote another article about self care and how we need to take care of ourselves and get another medical opinion if the doctors we go to don't take us seriously and investigate our complaints.

I myself went through this issue for 3 years!! 3 YEARS!!! I had the same family doctor since birth; he delivered me. I was born in 1987 and finally left as his patient in January 2016! So for 29 years, I depended, trusted and valued his opinions. Until he basically tried to call me a LIAR!

So, I was in a motor vehicle accident where I was rear-ended. This happened in July of 2012. I settled with ICBC (the wonderful Insurance Corporation of British Columbia) in December of 2015.

Over the course of 2.5 years, I had to go see my family doctor once, sometimes twice a month to advocate for myself and my pain. I was not only in pain, but I was severely depressed! I had been off work from July 2102 - March 2013; I was forced to go back to work. I had no EI left and the amount ICBC would have paid me was not enough. They would pay $300 week; that's only $1,200 a month and it was not enough to pay my bills and feed my children or pay my rent. So I had no choice by to go back to work even though mentally, emotionally and physically I was not ready. But sometimes you have to do what you need to. I have 2 kids and not working was not an option for our family.

Every month I went to the doctors complaining of pain from headaches, dizziness, nausea to back pain, anger, frustration, you name it. I was told to take pain medication, I was given referrals to see a physiotherapist, massage therapist and even try active rehab; all of these I was entitled to. However, I was also told I need to see a Physiatrist, Psychiatrist, but there are none that would see me. NOT ONE that would see me! Are you kidding me. I also asked for an MRI because my back pain was so bad, but again the excuse I got was, "it costs a lot of money and the wait list is so long." I said, "my lawyer will pay for it." So I got the referral BUT only because I told him it would be covered. I found out there was a slipped disc, but was told it was not from that MVA; I've unfortunately had a few (3 "major" ones; one was my fault.) However, this one I'm writing about was not my fault. So because they can't say for sure, it came out of my settlement; regardless my doctor refused to just send me for one.

I also suffered from severe depression and I complained to him on multiple occasions. All I got told was, "take this" or "take that." He never actually took me seriously. For an ENTIRE YEAR I dealt with the depression. I was angry all the time. I would scream, cry and yell, I'd throw things at the wall. I even considered cutting my wrists while doing the dishes. I thought about crashing my car into a pole. Not only was I slowly falling deeper and deeper into a hole of depression, my husband (then fiancé) and my 2 children had to watch me suffer through this. My husband even came to appointments with me to tell my doctor the crap I was going through and he STILL didn't give a damn. Let me tell you, my husband was NOT impressed and told me to get a new doctor because this one didn't seem to care about my wellbeing. I am truly blessed to have an amazing husband, my 2 children and my family because they are what kept me fighting. Truth be told, it was mostly my kids that kept me going. I couldn't leave them motherless; and despite everything, they stood by my side and hugged me, comforted me and made me feel like I had something worth fighting for. It was LITERALLY the toughest year of my life!

One night, I was in my room screaming, yelling, throwing things against the wall and eventually just sat on the floor and bawled my eyes out. Justin (my husband) came in and held me, even though I basically told him to "F" off. He told me I needed to stop and calm down. In that moment I cried even harder. I felt hopeless because I felt so unbelievably depressed! It was that moment that he KNEW I needed help! I had been told many times to go to the hospital and tell them I was depressed and having suicidal thoughts; however I was too scared I'd have my children taken away and they were my lifeline. They are what kept me going. If I didn't have them, I'd have nothing. That is what I thought and what I felt. There's also that stigma that you'll be labeled as "unfit," "unstable," "crazy," etc.

Justin finally decided that if my so called "doctor" wasn't going to help me, he would. He works in the medical field and was able to help me get an appointment with a psychiatrist; and guess what, he agreed to see me. Imagine that, there WAS someone who'd see me!

By the time I seen the psychiatrist, it had been almost one year post accident. Can you guess what he told me? He said I was suffering from major depressive disorder and I needed to start taking antidepressants! About a week later, I followed up with my family doctor and he's like, "oh I see you're depressed. Please fill out this form to see how depressed you are. So I filled out this form and what do you know, I'm majorly depressed. Why the hell didn't he give me this form a year ago, 6 months ago, heck 3 months ago; I only complained ALL THE DAMN TIME!! Or why didn't he just believe what he read on the Psychiatrist's report!

I also forgot to mention; did you know that the only way to get a concussion is to hit your head? At least that's what my doctor said! Haha which is bullshit! Any trauma to your brain where the movement is not controlled, could cause a concussion! I went for a CT scan and to the concussion clinic and was told I did suffer from a concussion. I went about 1-2 months after my accident. I even showed my doctor the pamphlet from the concussion clinic and he STILL told me the only way to get a concussion is to hit your head. By the way, it was the hospital that referred me to the concussion clinic after I went in complain about nausea, headaches, vertigo and dizziness.

By now, you must be thinking, "What the heck is wrong with this girl. Why didn't she go and get a new doctor?" Well, the answer to that question is that I was told by other medical professionals not to and here's why! When you are dealing with an insurance claim and you switch doctors because you don't like their answers or their treatment plans, it looks "bad" on you. By bad, I mean that it looks like you're just trying to get what you want to make things look better. Stupid, right? I know, but that's what happens when you're dealing with companies like ICBC. Of course because they get access to all your medical records and reports, depending on what the first doctor said, could make it break your case. It's silly really, because people like the girl in this article that I've posted the link to below and millions of others have had issues getting the proper care and attention they deserve. So regardless of the reasons, you should always be entitled to a second opinion.

Basically I stuck it out until I settled. Luckily I agreed to my settlement before my doctor gave his final report because it was in no way professional and if I had to argue or try to defend myself, it would have just caused that much more stress; stress I didn't need.

For those of you interested, my wonderful doctor of 29 years said that I was basically faking or exaggerating my pain to seek compensation!! That was just one of his own "personal" opinions. I couldn't even believe he wrote the things he did. My lawyer even told me that it was unprofessional, but to insurance companies, they take the reports from the doctor.

It has been 2.5 years since I settled and I still suffer from chronic pain, I still take antidepressants for my depression. So if I was faking it Mr. Chin, I wouldn't be suffering still.

To tell us that we are "paranoid," "faking it," or "its all in your head" when we feel like something isn't right, these medical professionals should give their god damn heads a shake, because there are far better things that we'd like to be doing with our lives then visiting you on countless occasions to try and advocate for our health and wellbeing! Instead of looking at us like we're paranoid, all in our head lunatics, take us seriously!

Medical professionals who refuse to treat patients and take them seriously should be held accountable and lose their license if a person ends up worse and dies because they DID NOT do their damn job to help them. Had they actually listened to this girl, she COULD have gotten better and beat Cancer, but instead she was just "paranoid." That comment right there should be taken seriously and that doctor should be suspended or even lose their license for being negligent in her care.

We trust these professionals! We believe that we're okay because they tell us we are; they say it's nothing!!

It is our job to advocate, fight and demand help when we feel something isn't right. Nobody knows your body better then YOU! It is our right to seek fair treatment.

It's so sad that in today's world, we have to worry about what the doctor tells us! Do they really care? Do they have our best interests at heart? Regardless, if a doctor tells you you're fine, but you know with every fiber of your being that something isn't right, get a second opinion; if you have to, get a third, fourth. Do WHATEVER it takes to find the cause of the problem before its too late. There are doctors out there who care; ones that will listen and do what needs to be done until you find results. Until you find that person, don't give up!

We are entitled to other opinions, especially if we feel we aren't being cared for properly!

You know your own body!! Advocate and fight like hell if that's what gets you results!!

RIP to Becky and all the millions of other people who lost their lives to negligent care.

Be strong! Be brave! Fight like HELL!

xoxo

recovery
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About the Creator

Alyse McDonald

Hello! Welcome to my Vocal Blog! Thanks for stopping by!

M

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