It's Not Just a Feeling

From feeling blue to full-on depressive episodes, everyone has felt some sort of negative, sad emotion, though the difference between being sad and depressed are very great. It's not just depression either, it's anxiety, it's bipolar disorder, it's obsessive-compulsive disorder. I've heard from countless people, time and time again, about their problem with being taken seriously when it comes to them having a mental illness. I've also had this problem, being a funny, outgoing person, people didn't think I was depressed they told me "Oh, it's okay, it'll just pass!" It, in fact, did not pass. Let's just start with a little background story.

In my high school era, everyone knew me as the social, funny girl, I was actually voted class clown and most outgoing my senior year. My family knew me like that also, I was always going over to friends' houses, playing sports, and doing extra circular activities. People saw this facade of me so they assumed they knew me, while on the inside I was actually battling my inner demons but not knowing what was really going on. At this point, I never really knew what depression was, I mean I knew what it is was but not in depth and how it affects people, like I do now. I never knew to put all of the symptoms together and I definitely thought that it was just the senior blues, I mean my life was about to drastically change from everything I knew. I finally went to the doctors and got diagnosed with depression, and together we decided I would be put on medication to handle it.

From then on, I went back once a month for about five months, changing medications every month, and talking to my doctors about side effects they had on me, which were shitty. After about the six month mark, I decided to finally just stay on the medication I was taking, I wasn't feeling like myself but I wasn't necessarily feeling sad. My family didn't really understand what was going on with me so it was pretty hush hush, like if you don't talk about it, then nothing is happening. Since I was dealing with something like this alone I started to go online and find more information and people so I could understand better and find people to confide in, that's where this comes full circle.

After researching depression, finding communities, and even opening up more to the people around me, I found that there are so many people out there who were like me. I was actually one of the lucky ones because I was listened to by a professional and taken seriously, for so many people, it's a different story. People struggle every day hearing things like their crazy, or it's puberty so your emotions are supposed to be like this, even as a woman, being asked if you're on your period! People have told me that multiple doctors didn't take them seriously, multiple! People should feel comfortable and safe with their doctors, yet they're having to go on the internet and confine in strangers because no one else can validate how they feel.

In this day and age of new technology and medicine, we as a society should not be having this problem. I hate having no one to talk to because people aren't educated properly on mental illnesses. I believe everyone who has come to me with their problems, and I will continue to listen to every single person no matter what because everybody deserves a voice and deserves to be heard and validated.