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Whenever we are gloomy about the state of our lives, it often shows in our body language, in our facial expressions, and in the ways that we respond to others. Often, we are asked the age-old question, "Are you okay?" or some variant of the same, such as "What's wrong?" or "What happened?"
The questions themselves seem to come from a place of concern. However, when we give our answer and open up, sometimes we are met with a negative response. Tell me the following doesn't sound familiar to you.
"You're worrying too much."
"Maybe you should have made a better choice."
"You should have listened when you had the chance."
Or, my personal favorite, "All you talk about is how upset you are. Tell me something happy for once."
When we are met with these responses, we tend to reconstruct our defenses and put up new walls. We tend to bottle up our thoughts and feelings for fear of being too vulnerable or needy and getting hurt by those we thought we could trust.
Well, I'm here to tell you something that you may or may not believe:
Now, I'm not saying that allowing yourself to go days or weeks without taking care of yourself is okay. I'm not saying that it is okay to starve yourself or binge. It is not okay to harm yourself.
What is okay is feeling upset. What is okay is sadness. What is okay is being weak sometimes. It is okay to not always be 100 percent every single day of your life. It is okay to cry and to break. In fact, it is healthier to have a good long cry over something than it is to just keep your emotions in check every single day and never let yourself feel anything over what is upsetting you.
It is also okay to be happy and excited about things that other people don't seem to understand. It's okay to be a grown adult still getting giddy over a crush or a love interest. It's okay to be a grown adult and feel happier inside of a Hot Topic than you do a J.C. Penney. It's okay to be 24-years-old and still want to make a stuffy at Build-A-Bear Workshop and have it to cuddle with. It's okay to still go apeshit over Disney or Harry Potter or cosplaying and be in your 40s.
And, it's also okay to sometimes not want to talk to anyone and just work on yourself. I know firsthand that it's not always easy to open up, especially when you find it hard to trust people because you've been hurt by people you thought you could trust. I also know that just because a friend loves you and trusts you doesn't mean that they're ready to open up about what is bothering them. And, that is 100 percent okay.
Don't ever feel forced to open up. But, also remember that if you do open up and no one seems to understand you, it's okay to tell them that what they say in response upsets you. Don't allow them to break you down for feeling the way you do or for coping the way you do. Don't allow anyone to invalidate how you feel.
At the end of the day, all that matters is that things are okay and you are okay. Believe me. It may not feel like it today, and it may not even feel like it tomorrow. But you are okay, and things are okay.